i have a question...

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

I am Totally Team Jacob

I'm a bit of a snob.

Theatre snob (I even spell it theatre now, thanks to Emerson), book snob (Jodi Picoult blows, people--she DOES!), grammar snob ("its" is the possessive of it; "it's" is a contraction of it is--yes, really), food snob (except for that occasional McDonald's meal), pop culture information snob (I only read classy things like People.com and EW.com, no Jezebel or TMZ or Perez Hilton for me!).

I am in no way, shape, or form, a wine snob. Give me your swilliest, sweetest, most grape-juicy tasting red wine. In fact, give me two glasses of it.

And sometimes three.

And I'll take any chocolate you might have on hand too.

I'm usually somewhat of a movie snob. Most of that, I think, is because of my training and outright judgement of acting and writing, etc.

However, I've also always called myself a pretty naive spectator. I can be swept away by even the silliest or schlockiest of movies.

Which brings me to my next point.

The Twilight Saga.

I was working with teenagers when the books came out and felt very old because I had no idea what they were about or why they were such a phenomenon. Then, I read some of one of the books over someone's shoulder on the subway once and was appalled. THE WRITING IS TERRIBLE!

"Bella said, 'You're beautiful.' Edward said, 'No. You're beautiful.'"

Monosyllabic sentences. No descriptive words.

I am not a fan.

Then...the movies came out.

And the world exploded with RPattz obsession and questions like "Will Kristen Stewart ever smile in public?"

It took me about a year, but I decided I had to see what all the fuss was about. This happened partly after talking to a good friend about how it's really about obsession and longing and unattainable love. She made it sound mildly interesting.

So, I watched the first film, which was terrible. Poorly acted. Poorly written. Poorly produced.

THEN, all that stuff about TAYLOR LAUTNER'S BODY started popping up. And I took notice, even though (vom!) he's only 18.

So...I watched the second movie.

And...I might be hooked.

Granted, I watched the 2 hour, 10 minute-long movie in about three hours because I could barely get through it. I needed frequent breaks because it was so boring in parts.

But also,
a) Taylor Lautner's body is pretty amazing, and I kind of loved how every time Bella saw it she couldn't help but do a double-take;
b) I also loved how every time Bella saw Edward, she couldn't keep the smile off her face--this seemed the most genuine of the acting between Kristen Stewart and Pasty Pattinson;
c) the chemistry between Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner is exponentially more powerful than her chemistry with Pasty Pattinson;
d) this film was far better produced than the first one.

I totally spoiled the next two movies for myself by reading the book synopses and I still don't plan on actually reading the books...but I might actually plan on seeing the movies.

Judge me, if you must.


Mel said...

Um... myself and all my intelligent, thinking, 20-something friends read all the books and then proceeded to squeal like 12 year old girls about them every time we got together, even as we all recognised that they we're incredibly poorly written, and that we were pathetic for being so obsessed.

I don't judge you.

Oh, and I read somewhere that when asked whether they were team Edward or team Jacob, one group of girls replied "team no shirts!"

So that answers that question.

juskaulani said...

I haven't succumbed to seeing the second movie just yet. The first one sucked to much.

Annie said...

@Mel, my thoughts exactly. thank you for sharing!

@juskaulani, honestly, it's worth it just for the bella-jacob parts...just take lots of breaks and do other things during the rest of it. thanks for the comment!

cjschlottman said...

I tried to read the first book but almost had to be hospitalized for being so bored. You said it right.

Annie said...


@emllewellyn said...

I graduated from the same English program as Stephanie Meyer. She is a running joke in a just-don't-talk-about-it way. Read the books out of morbid curiosity in like an hour each for all the skimming through dreadful descriptions. Awful. Awful awful awful uncomfortable boring and awful.

OBSESSED with the awesomely awful movies, though. Nothing less than midnight premieres for me (if for no other reason than to piss off the hardcore fans with my giggling. Bad?)

Your blog is fun. Glad I stumbled on it.

Annie said...

@em, thank you so much for the tidbits!! glad to have a new reader!

Nats said...

Wow, totally agree with you the writing being so terrible. . . I seriously don't understand how some people think its brilliant. Also have to say the same thing happened with the movies. The first one is awful; the second one I saw in theatres, and now I want the next one to come out. Is that sad and pathetic for someone who hasn't 'picked a team'?

Annie said...

No, Nats! Enjoy them for the eye candy and fluff they are worth. I support you.