i have a question...

Thursday, May 27, 2010


Once, what feels like a lifetime ago, S and I decided that MTV should create a reality TV show about us. I think this was when my life consisted of more than this.

I'm pretty sure we decided the show should be called Chic(k)ago.

She can correct me if I'm wrong.

UPDATE: We actually called it Chi(ck)-Town. Pretty bad.

Anyway, we planned a happy graduation getaway in Chicago many months ago, since she couldn't be at commencement. Thus, I will be away from blogging until at least Monday night. Don't cry!

Here are some clues as to what we will be doing for the next four days:

Yes, that is a plus sign between the poster and the champagne. Be jealous. And intrigued. It's cooler than you think.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Life with a Master's Degree

It's been a while since I posted because I've been extremely busy.

My days are now filled to the brim with these significant activities:

1. Playing games on games.com
2. Eating cookies
3. Watching Sex and the City
4. Watching everything on hulu I haven't seen yet, not to mention the 5 hours I devoted to watching the LOST series finale
5. Trying to find a new show to fill the void left by all my shows' seasons being over
6. Staying up too late
7. Staying in bed until the afternoon
8. Reading entertainment news even more obsessively than usual
9. Drinking
10. Mentally preparing for my big travels
11. Searching for the perfect pair of flipflops
12. Not reading

Even coming up with this list of more than ten things was hard.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Word of the Day, vol. XX

Word of the Day: LOVE

There are many kinds of love.

And I needed all of them to make it through grad school.

In honor of them, I give you a list:

-The Spill-our-guts-at-the-first-lunch-we-shared love. This turns into New-friend love. Which turns into We-have-to-work-together love. Which turns into the fierce love that makes you sob in public.

-The Snarky-sneaks-up-on-you love. Which turns into the love that takes you to a tiny apartment where you drink lots of red wine and gossip until it’s suddenly two in the morning. The love that you know can’t end because you’d both be able to blackmail the other with juicy, hilarious info.

-The We’re-so-not-going-to-be-friends-then-we’re-best-friends love. The love that turns into sleepovers and tears and gratefulness for what you’ve learned. The love that has to change because it’s too intense.

-The other kind of We’re-so-not-going-to-be-friends love. The one that turns into the Holy-shit-she’s-wiser-than-her-platinum-blonde-hair-and-white-stilettos-show love. Which turns into the She-saved-me-on-a-national-holiday love. Which turns into an intense, almost sisterly, pact.

-The Let’s-sit-and-sing-and-make-faces-at-each-other love. That turns into the Always-down-for-anything-love. That turns into the Sunniest-most-generous-friend love.

-The love that rescues you when you’re totally confounded by your eighth grade class. A sort of Southern-gentlemanly love that you think couldn’t possibly be as easy as it is. But, it is.

-The New-friend love that you totally trust. The love that tells you you’re beautiful and deserve the world. The love that sends you champagne and cookies because what else would you possibly need?

-The love that reminds you there’s someone across the country going through stuff just as deep and lets you write about it, honestly and frankly and never judges that.

-The love that you have for the young people you’ve worked with. Those who shared the intense experience of your teaching. Who made you laugh hysterically and who broke your hearts with their openness and friendship.

-The love you learn to accept from a mentor, who listens and supports you through one of the most difficult challenges of your life. The love you know has developed because you’ve been through the war together, and she’s helped you survive it.

-The love that is just as emotional as you are and that challenges you because of that. The love that makes the whole machine run, indefatigably and with grace and passion.

-The love that holds you up when you decide to GO THERE and then you break. The love that never makes you ashamed of that. That gently steps on your foot while you sob to remind you that you’re still there and you’re not alone.

-The love that reminds you why you want to be a teacher. Or whatever you are. That speaks about it with such passion that you weep because it weeps. The love that gives you advice that pegs you between the eyes. And then changes you forever.

-The love that demands you to understand who you are. That sits with you for hours, sharing stories of theatre and art and family and loss. The love that makes the whole experience unforgettable. And makes you bigger and better than you expected.

-The love that is guaranteed to make you laugh and texts with you through important TV shows. That calls to vent about family and work. The love that doesn’t really understand what you’re doing but supports you with fierce and protective pride anyway.

-The love that keeps you fed and sane. And is only eleven houses away. The love that, in a crisis, drops everything and brings you McDonald’s and lets you cry over it.

-The love that sat glued in front of its computer to see you walk across the stage and texted you ten times to let you know it was with you in spirit and could you hear it clapping?

-The love that got you there in the first place.

-The Chosen-sister love that keeps you going and overwhelms you every day. The love that sends cards at just the right moment. The love where it’s safe to feel your worst but that makes you feel your best.

I couldn’t have done it without you.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I Just Graduated a Master's Program and All I Got was a Lousy T-Shirt

No, seriously.

We ran across the stage, got our diplomas, had alumni T-shirts shoved in our faces and then returned to our seats. (IMHO, they could have spent that money on alcohol for the reception...)

This pretty much tells you everything else you need to know about today:

Holy shit, now what am I going to do?

Also, as we exited the theatre after the ceremony, I shouted, "Well, I didn't pass out!"

Which basically sums up the entire two years perfectly.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

I Get Agita When I Don't Post Every Other Day

So here's a blow-by-blow of what's going on:

Wednesday night:
Partied with my grad school classmates;
Drank too much champagne (as I am wont to do);
Danced a lot;
Laughed a lot;
Took embarrassing photos;
Took an unnecessary shot of tequila;
Drank late into the evening/early morning;
Tried to do a proper duet of "Champagne" from In the Heights...eight times.

Suffered inevitable hangover;
Consumed fried egg BLT in Brookline with girlfriends;
Lunched with kiddoes;
Reached awkward realization of not being their teacher anymore.

Slept very late, after drunken sleep Wednesday night;
Lunch with RM, during which she gave me MANY wonderful gifts and a card that made me burst into tears in public;
Finally hung with cousin and watched TLC shows late into the evening;
Felt her baby kick (she's due in September).

Slept late;
Hung with roommates and watched the final minutes of the season finale of Private Practice;
Tried not to become obsessed with said show;
Got back into bed until 3 PM;
Headed to spa for spa pedicure;
Got legs massaged and geranium-scrubbed;
Got toes painted iridescent blue;
Dinner and drinks with MW;
Impulse-slightly-drunken shoe shopping;
Breaking in new shoes.

Probably sleeping late;
Brother arrives;
Drinks with friends;
Dinner with friend's family;
Inevitable stumbling home with brother.

Hopefully waking up without hangover;
Breakfast with brother;
Commencement at 3 PM;
Dinner with adoring fans.

Holy shit.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010


It's a new era.

I graduate from my Master's program on Monday.

So, now, I'm a new woman.

Previous Annie

Master Annie

Obviously, drastic change is not my forte.

Important Decisions Before a Graduation Party

me: i was gonna get a six-pack of corona
and a bottle of champagne but that will be awkward too carry
S: anything is going to be awkward to carry
cuz it'll be heavy and liquid filled
me: but a six pack is more awkward than another bottle of something
S: true
me: but i don't know what else to bring
maybe TWO bottles of champagne
S: yeah!
or maybe... champagne and orange juice?
what time is the thing?
me: 6
S: or champagne and a bottle of tequila?
me: i just won't drink the tequlia
but i can provide it for others
S: will other people drink it?
me: i dunno
S: tequila and limes
final answer
me: where does one get limes?
S: or corona
me: i'm going to one place
well corona is where i started!
but i can't carry it
with my overnight stuff and my purse
S: champagne and cookies!
pot brownies

Yes, because the average liquor store sells champagne, tequila, limes, brownie mix, eggs, oil, and marijuana.

UPDATE: Naturally, I purchased two bottles of Prosecco.

Monday, May 10, 2010

The Five-Minute Face...Now, with Natural Ingredients

For years and years, S was my makeup artist.

Every time we ever went out (which, for a while, was like every other night), she'd fancy herself up before making me stand still and close my eyes and look up and look down and make funny faces, so she could concentrate on making me pretty (er, prettier) for the evening's festivities.

I was never a very good customer, creeping her out by opening one eye or screaming when the eyeliner would come close to me.

When I moved to California before Boston, I decided I needed to be a grown-up and spent hundreds of dollars on Bare Escentuals makeup so I could figure out how to make my own face up.

I followed Carmindy's advice (she of What Not to Wear fame) and learned how to do the Five-Minute Face.

It's still something I feel like I'm practicing to perfect, but at least I can manage it myself now.

I tell you all this because yesterday morning, I made myself a small breakfast of a half a bagel with peanut butter and then put on a full face of makeup for the day.

I don't know if it was because it was before 10 AM or because I hadn't done a full face in months, but I made a real mess of it.

And everyone knows that spit is the best makeup remover.

So I stuck a Q-Tip in my mouth and began to fix my eyes.

Then, I realized I was wiping my eyes with peanut butter saliva.

They stayed itchy and kind of sticky all day, but at least they looked pretty!

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Overheard in the Classroom (or Kids These Days), vol. XIII (the Final Edition)

It's late, and I can't even begin to describe what an emotional and fulfilling week this was. In fact, I can't even begin to describe what an emotional and fulfilling semester this was.

It was soul-filling, infuriating, frustrating, anxiety-inducing, hilarious, enlightening, moving, inspiring, nauseating, interminable, and over in a second...

Here are some highlights of a truly momentous week:

"You look stressed. Is there something I can help you with?"--one of the young men in the play, restoring my faith in the next generation.

Mentor teacher: Stop flirting with the student-teacher!
Student: "Student" is the key word!

Mentor teacher: Do a little "peas and carrots, peas and carrots." (coaching the student to mime talking on stage)
Student: I'm allergic to vegetables!

"Isn't it important to go up to a tree and just listen?"--my philosopher intro student, who is the only person I totally broke down with when we said goodbye tonight.

An exchange after an intro group's final scene presentation:
Me: What were they doing that other groups weren't?
Student: Acting!
...He was right, but I was expecting a different answer.

"I'm gonna miss you like a fat kid on a diet misses cake."--one of my 8th graders when I reminded them today would be my last day.

An example of how my professionalism slipped this week, after spending long after-school hours:
Student: This packet's too long.
Me: You're too long.
(Honestly, I didn't mean it like that...and I managed not to laugh when I said it.)

"Buttocks. Sweaty!"--an 8th grader's reason for needing to buy a bottle of water.

"How you gonna tell me where I take a dump?"--another 8th grader's emphatic argument when someone challenged his...routine.

And, as I said goodbye at the end of the 8th grade class, my final one today:
Me (to Student A): Be good!
Student A: I'll try.
Me (to Student B): Be good!
Student B: No!


Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Ice Cream + Rollercoaster = Hilarity

A video post to tide you over while I get through my last week of teaching, including tech rehearsals for the play that opens Thursday.

I love my kiddoes. And will miss them terribly.

But that doesn't have anything to do with this video.