Boston.

Everyone is celebrating tonight.

Elated that the 19-year-old 2^nd suspect in the Boston Marathon Bombings has been captured and that he’s alive.

But I don’t know. I just feel heavy-hearted.

Having a day off of work on Monday felt like a great, little gift, as we’re ramping up for our annual fundraiser and I have a 6-day-work week next week. So I slept late and got up to clean and do laundry and was getting ready to leave my house to go shopping downtown when I saw a tweet about Boston.

There were barely any details posted at that point, though I did quickly discover that explosions had occurred at the finish line of the Boston marathon.

Messages, texts, and tweets poured in the rest of the day, and I came to learn that everyone I knew was somehow safe, some by the skin of their teeth, some because they had straight dumb luck.

Everyone seemed to have stories of very close calls.

I spent most of Monday afternoon sitting in front of the news, clutching my phone, shocked that this has had happened here. Violated and stunned that the square I walk through twice a day on my route to and from work had become a “killing zone.”

This was way too close to home.

This was home.

I was disheartened to see that by the end of the day, Twitter had seemed to forget about Boston. And I was even more upset at myself for thinking, “Oh, I’ve already seen this footage,” after viewing the same harrowing scenes over and over on the news.

This was the definition of desensitization.

I was surprised that work was open the very next day and braced myself to field tons of questions from all the little inquisitive minds I encounter at work, but we were all strangely reticent about Monday.

Like we didn’t want to think about it. And if the kids didn’t ask any questions (and even if they did), we weren’t going to press it. 

By Thursday morning, and the news of an (unrelated) death in my circle, I was overwhelmed and angry. Uncertain that I’d make it through another day of pasting on a smile and pushing through whatever confusion and anger I was feeling.

It turns out we were all operating under a tenuous sense of hope because we woke up this morning to a totally different city.

After checking my phone as soon as I woke up (before 7:30 all this week because of April vacation hours at work), I jumped out of bed to watch the news with my roommate.

Men in bomb suits were detonating bombs near the Park and a suspect was on the loose.

Boston was on lockdown, residents were urged to stay barricaded in their houses.

The story unfolded slowly over the course of a very strange day.

15 hours later, after a stand-off in Watertown and the suspect taken into custody after being on the run for 28 hours, I have peeled myself away from the TV to reflect in silence.

It feels like the world will never be the same.

9/11 happened in my hometown when I had already lived across the country for 4 years, and watching NYC pick up the pieces from so far away was difficult and impressive.

Boston is my adopted home, and its resilience and spirit and feeling of community have been astounding.

I feel proud of all of the acts of kindness and bravery that were performed all week.

But I also feel like I have truly lost my innocence. Explaining the situation this morning to my mother, using terms like “IED strapped to his chest,” “homemade bombs thrown out of the car,” “dead suspect run over by his brother,” I said as much to her.

I couldn’t believe I was saying such phrases with moderate emotion.

And besides that, when everyone sees a terrorist, I can’t help but see a boy.

A boy who had such a good reputation with his friends and coworkers and colleagues that all we heard all day was how shocked everyone is that he was the man on the run. A boy who ended up bleeding and hiding in a boat in a Watertown backyard.

I know only he has the answers to some of our terrorized city’s questions, and I know that him being taken alive means we might get them.

But I can’t celebrate tonight.

I’m too tired.

And the world feels way too big and bad right now.

A Day of Contentment and Gratitude

It snowed today.

I had plans to have lunch with my cousin early afternoon and when I left my house to catch the bus, it was snowing.

I left with plenty of time to make it if I walked, and so I decided to, realizing even as I started to walk, that by not taking the bus I would have some time to call my brother.

I called him and left a message, assuming he was working, which he was.

Then, I kept walking and thinking...I am grateful to my lovely boss, so I texted her.

I am grateful to my friend whom I have not seen in over a year.

So I texted him.

I am grateful to my cousins, who are my friends as well as my family.

So I texted them.

I am grateful to my lovely roommate.

So I texted her.

I spent the 30 or so minutes, strolling in the snow, to reach out to people and thank them for their friendship and love. I was so overwhelmed by their text responses, sharing the sentiment, that I had to stop on my walk to wipe tears away.

My cousin and I then spent a 2 1/2 hour lunch, drinking and eating and catching up.

We hurried back to her house, where her boisterous, curious, hilarious kid got dropped off and I spent the evening with them, hearing stories about robots and getting kisses from her peanut butter mouth.

Then, I went home and got laundry done and caught up with my roommate.

Then I found this, and my day of contentment and gratitude was complete.



Live your life, live your life, live your life.

Yep.

A couple of my friends shared this on Facebook, one even commenting that listening to stories like this all day is her job.

Mine too.

Except the kids at my job would have ended the story after the milkman died.

*sad trombone*

I am a Pop Culture Genius: vol. XV

I find Michael C. Hall strangely sexy, despite his Cro-Magnon brow.

He is a super awesome song-and-dance man, for those of you who didn't know.

And on Dexter he wears the hell out of both pastel polos and Henleys.

ANYWAY.

I got into Dexter during my unemployment and have been watching fairly loyally since then.

I knew the big shocker at the end of season 4 before I watched it. Was as bored as everyone else with Julia Stiles' performance last season. And, so far, am satisfied with this season.

Last night's episode featured Tobey from Dawson's Creek.

On Dawson's Creek, he played Jack McPhee's abrasive boyfriend. The one he shared network television kisses with.

On Dexter, he played the random victim of creepy Colin Hanks and creepier Edward James Olmos's Doomsday Killers, whose (SPOILER) head gets chopped off and put on mannequin bodies sent through the city on horses.

I suppose a man's got to pay the bills.

Mr. Miyagi would be so proud.

So, we all know that I'm a fan of TV.

Lately, I've been rewatching the entire series of Scrubs and it's seriously reigniting my Zach Braff crush.

I'm also a fan of reality TV but not a ridiculous, obsessive fan.

Like, I don't watch Jersey Shore, for example.

I have, however, become newly fascinated by the horrible schlock show Celebrity Apprentice but mostly because Marlee Matlin's on it and I am totally in love with her. Also, I didn't know who Lil Jon or Nene Leakes were before the show, and now I love them both.

And Dionne Warwick is a horrible person who thinks that teaching 4- and 5-year-olds about deaf people is bringing them too much diversity.

Anyway, I like to be kept informed about the other significant reality phenomena around me. So I read and occasionally watch clips of this season's Dancing with the Stars.

And it features Ralph Macchio.

You know, this guy!
















Except, today, he looks like this.














Which is to say, EXACTLY THE SAME AS HE DID IN THE KARATE KID!

Like, it is freaky.

And he does this:



But, my absolute favorite part of that clip is that he named his son--WAIT FOR IT!--Daniel.

As in, Daniel-san.

SOB!

This is My Story. What's Yours?

Created on youtube.com/search stories

Made even funnier/truer/sadder by the fact that even Google maps thinks Silvertone is a good place for first dates.

Also, the related videos at the end of mine include "Gay Speed Dating in Boston" and "Depression--Cooking for One."

Sigh.

If I Were a Betting Woman, I Would Have Lost

You may remember that in 1998, a little show called Dawson's Creek premiered.

I was 15, the prime age for this show about smart, articulate, neurotic teens to totally sweep me away.

To be honest, I didn't get into it until mid-first season, but I was HOOKED and would meet my friend Liza the day after the show was on to watch the VHS she and her mom had made, so we could rewind and swoon to our hearts' delight.

People in my life understand that Pacey Witter is STILL my dream man.

I must admit that I haven't seen every single episode.

In 2001, I started college and tried to continue my religious following but school took over, as it should.

Still, my friend Bonnie and I would make special "Dawson's" dates, and I'll never forget watching the series finale, crying my eyes out when Grams told Jen she'd "see her soon."

Ugh.

Plus, dude, Pacey and Joey were so meant to be.

After Dawson's Creek ended, I would have bet that Katie Holmes and James Van Der Beek were going to explode.

That football classic Varsity Blues came out and suddenly, with his lower voice and brown hair, I thought Van Der Beek was hot and charismatic.

Maybe he was a better actor than I had realized while watching him whine and cry and bemoan his lack of charm with the ladies on the Creek.

Katie Holmes was in Go, basically playing Joey Potter except on a 24-hour madcap adventure through drugs and Timothy Olyphant.

My darling Joshua Jackson sort of fell off the planet.

And THEN, Michelle Williams, who had always been my least favorite, playing Jen with a scrunched up face and precociousness I found off-putting, appeared in Brokeback Mountain.

And showed up at the Academy Awards, where she'd been nominated, like this:

Win. On so many levels.

I remember, around this time, realizing that Holmes and Williams were suddenly SUPER famous, what with their famous spouses, and that the guys from the Creek had been lost in obscurity.

I was surprised.

What was the world without Dawson and Pacey?

So, here's how I rank them today, from most to least relevant, almost 13 (gulp) years after the premiere of a show that will always have a place in my heart (P+J 4eva).

1.
With another Academy Award nomination under her belt for her INCREDIBLE performance in Blue Valentine, Williams is still winning. I mean, that's Ryan Gosling. So yeah, no contest.

2.
I love him so much. In fact, I watch Fringe because I love him so much. It's also a good show, but I wouldn't haven't started watching if my boyfriend wasn't on it.

3. James Van Der Beek
Two months ago, I would have put him last, but these videos are hilarious, and it shows that he has a sense of humor about himself and his lack of acting skills. Plus, his wife just had a baby, so that's pretty exciting.

4.
A poor showing by a once-promising Holmes, who gets the distinction of being Mrs. Tom Cruise, but hey, at least her new miniseries The Kennedys will be out soon. On that distinguished network, ReelzChannel.

Wait.

Um. Yes, please.

I think this is a dream come true that I didn't even know I had.

You know it's something exciting when it's called "Interpretive Dance."

How do I get on?

Somebody Explain to Me Why This Made Me Cry

I think it was the dogs and the baby taking the stairs that did it.

Best of 2010

I know you've been eagerly anticipating this list ALL YEAR LONG.

I did something smart this year and actually kept track of all these things as I read or saw them.

(Keep in mind that not all of these were actually produced this year. This just happens to be the year I discovered them.)


BOOKS

The Hours by Michael Cunningham
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
Couldn’t Keep it to Myself by Wally Lamb and the Women of York Correctional Institute
How Did You Get This Number by Sloane Crosley
The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

MOVIES

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
Up in the Air
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Crazy Heart
Rachel Getting Married
Every Little Step
Inception
Peter and Vandy
The Cove
The Social Network
Beautiful Daughters

MUSIC

Lungs by Florence + the Machine, especially “Cosmic Love”
For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert
Recovery by Eminem, especially "Love the Way You Lie"
The Suburbs by Arcade Fire, especially “Ready to Start”
“Breakeven” by The Script
“Uncharted” by Sara Bareilles
The Lady Killer by Cee Lo Green, especially “Wildflower”

THEATER

In the Heights National Tour
The Adding Machine at BCA
August: Osage County National Tour
Endgame at Steppenwolf
Circle Mirror Transformation at BCA
This is How and The Golden Lasso at Perishable Theatre

Happy holidays, everyone!!! Thanks for reading!

Happy Holidays! (Don't Cry!)

I have to admit to being a little...curmudgeonly about this video.

I watched it and thought, "That CAN'T be live!" Even though I'd cried for the last minute of it.

But then I actually read about it and became a believer.

Is that Amber Tamblyn at 2:55?

Hope you all travel safe this week and have a great Thanksgiving!

I will spending it with the cousins, their good friends (lots of chefs among them), and the baby! (All very exciting.)

I Didn't Want This to End

Homemade Spacecraft from Luke Geissbuhler on Vimeo.

Half-way through, I realized my hands were clenched in anticipation, and then, I almost cried.

How amazing.

The Soundtrack of the Unemployed

I went on an interview for an AMAZINGLY perfect job for me yesterday and, since then, this is the song that has been stuck in my head:



Minus the synth-heavy orchestrations and all the spandey wear.

The lyrics start at about 5:00, but watch the whole thing because it's pretty amazing.

Sidenote: S and I decided once we were going to rewrite A Chorus Line so it occurred in Communist Russia. It would be called...wait for it!...Bread Line.

God, I hope I get it.
I hope I get it!
How many pieces do they haaaaaave?

And, of course,
One....
Single piece of brea-ead...
Every little step we take...

That's as far as we got.

Genius, right?

A Day of Remembrance...and a Story of Impending Puberty

It is a grand holiday for those of us born in the time of the original Beverly Hills, 90210. That day that happens just once in our lifetime, 9/02/10.

I know I've already posted once today, but then I discovered the worldwide holiday, and realized I had to post another embarrassing story, like Sassy's.

I think my favorite episode of 90210, inexplicably, is the one in which Brenda has a breast cancer scare. And during the SATs, no less!

What shitty luck.



The thing is, this episode aired during the thrilling period of time in my life when my...buds were developing.

You remember that time, when a breeze blowing in the right direction caused such searing pain that you'd get tears in your eyes?

I remember, once, I bashed them against the desktop in my 5th grade classroom and almost passed out.

But, of course, initially, I didn't know what these little hard nubs were, and so, I figured, OF COURSE, they're CANCER!

Of course, my pediatrician assured me they weren't. And that I was well on my way to blossoming into a young woman.

Great.

And, thanks for fostering my catastrophic thinking, Aaron Spelling...(may you rest.)

I Think This is Important

I think it's because HOME has always been a...sensitive subject.

But, as soon as it asked for my childhood home address, I knew it was going to make me cry.

In fact, I watched it once with my childhood home address and another time with the address I had the last two years I was in college.

Those are the only two homes I've had.

Aside from this one, which is finally beginning to feel real...

I am So Happy to Post This

It made me downright giggly.

Warning: NSFW...but definitely listen.

I am a Pop Culture Genius: vol. XIII, the Saturday Morning edition

Does anyone remember TNBC?

Every Saturday morning, NBC would run scintillating half-hour comedies geared towards young teens. Illustrious programs like Saved by the Bell, California Dreams, Hang Time, and City Guys.

It is because of these shows that Anthony Anderson (of Law & Order fame) and Jay Hernandez (of Crazy/Beautiful and Hostel fame), who have certainly established themselves as legitimate actors, will always be known to me as "those guys from Hang Time."

Also, Rufio's brother was on City Guys.

My lovely ex-roommate is sharing her Netflix account with me, and I have wasted most of the weekend rewatching The Hills Seasons 1 and 2 on Instant Watch.

Finally, today, I decided to move on to more quality programming and watched a couple episodes of Weeds because I have heard consistently great things about it.

I recognized an actress from this show in the second episode:



Michelle Krusiec played Sui, the Asian One, who, if I remember right, was a bit of a ditzy shopaholic.

On Weeds, she played the tennis pro who is sleeping with (the fantastic) Elizabeth Perkins's character's husband and sticks a racket up his butt during sex.

Moving up in the acting world, for sure.

P.S. I guarantee the One World theme song will now be stuck in your head.

Ice Cream + Rollercoaster = Hilarity

A video post to tide you over while I get through my last week of teaching, including tech rehearsals for the play that opens Thursday.

I love my kiddoes. And will miss them terribly.

But that doesn't have anything to do with this video.

Watch this now!

First of all, Bobby McFerrin is 60!!

Does that make anyone else feel really old?

Also, he looks amazing.

I spent a magical night with my best friends on September 11, 2004, when we saw him at the Zellerbach on campus at school. My two friends sang onstage with him with a big group of people, and our minds were blown at how crazy-amazing he is, live or otherwise.

This video blows my mind. Music IS universal!

I am Linguistically Significant

So...secretly? I start trends.

Like, linguistic trends.

You know when you have a quirky way of speaking or an abbreviation you use all the time and then the people around you start using it? And then those people take that way of speaking to the people in their lives and then suddenly you see someone on the internet speaking the way you've been speaking for years and then it's a national trend?

Here, let me give you some examples.

Thanks to my friend Jennifer (with a little help from Austin Powers), I (and probably you) now use the word "honestly" as an all-purpose word to indicate mild irritation mixed with disbelief.

Let's use it in a sentence.

"Honestly! Who throws a shoe?" or "Honestly! Why is that girl wearing stilettos and a tube dress in 5 inches of snow?"

Also, I am unsure how this trend actually started (whether I brought it with me or got it from someone here--like some kind of infection) but there is a large contingent of people in the Northeast who now use the terms "P.S" and "slash" to preface non sequiturs.

Such as, when two people are having a casual conversation about their homework, and one person suddenly says, "P.S. I totally have to take a dump." Or, "Slash, I totally had a sex dream about this kid in the play I'm working on."

You get the idea, I hope.

And, finally.

This was originally a combination of several factors: an Italian man my friend became one evening while drunk plus the task of nicknaming some other friends.

Anyway, we eventually started pronouncing the word "face" as if it was an Italian word: "FAH-chay."

We called each other "poop fah-chay," instead of "poopface" for no real reason. And, hilariously, the movie Office Space became "Oh-FEE-chay SPAH-chay."

Yeah.

But check it out!

This is Seth Rudetsky, a New York City-based musician, musical theatre columnist, blogger, and radio personality.

(I apologize in advance for his face and voice, but watch the video anyway. I'm actually a really big fan. His website is kind of amazing.)



I am so famous.