Overheard in the Classroom (or Kids These Days), vol. IX

"We made cigarettes!"--a special ed student proclaimed to me proudly, then she proceeded to stick the wrong end in her mouth and pretend to smoke it.

This was an unfortunate exchange with one of my special ed kids.
Note to self: these kids do not understand sarcasm!
Kid: I'm so glad Friday's a day off!
Me: OH MY GOD! ME TOO!
Kid: No more teachers!
Me: NO MORE STUDENTS!
Kid: They're so annoying.
Me: KIDS ARE THE WORST!
Then we proceeded to have a stand-off. I was mostly joking. I don't think he got it.

Hand this lady a teaching license, STAT!

And, as I walked to school this morning, it struck me. Not only was today the day before a three-day weekend but it's also APRIL FOOLS DAY!

My mentor teacher convinced me I wouldn't see my unruly 8th grade class only to shout "April Fool's" at me and break my heart. Then, we acted like we'd lost our intro class's final project videos so they'd have to recreate them in half an hour during class.

Later in the day, BOTH of my favorite kids played separate, horrible jokes on me.

One in which I noted the rubber bands around a student's wrist and informed her that some girls wear them to self-mutilate with. She told me that's why she wore them too. And I was like, well, I HAVE to report that! Then, she called "April Fool's!"

Then, a student informed me that he had found out he had ANOTHER older brother (ANOTHER brother his father told him nothing about) and that he was handling it OK. He wanted me to guess what his name was, and then informed me it was "April Fool's."

Stupid kids.