Overheard in the Classroom (or Kids These Days), vol. XII

This was a ridiculously long, stressful week. I worked late at the school Monday, had my last days of work with RM Tuesday and Wednesday; Wednesday and Thursday were my final classes at Emerson, and were 16 hours and 12 hours long, respectively. Thursday night, I was stranded downtown for half an hour because all the trains stopped running after an electrical fire in a station, and today, I had my final in-class observation for my licensure and worked with the kids at rehearsal until 6.

I feel jet-lagged.

And really proud of myself.

Here are the highlights of a very...full week.

"You dress old!"--a crew member to me, putting me in my rightful place after rehearsal, after I joked about dressing up like this. I was offended.

Same crew member: "It's weird when adults use Facebook."
Me: "Everyone YOU know is in this room! Why do YOU need a social networking site?"

"If she can do that, she can friend me on Facebook."--one of my faves, after my mentor teacher asked if I could sit in his lap, when I stepped in for his scene partner during a rehearsal. I didn't.

I introduced my special ed kids to an undergrad student who was assisting me for the day: "We go to the same school."
Special ed student: "You're roommates?"
Me: "No. We just go to the same school."
Special ed student: "Since you were little girls?"
Me: "No."
Special ed student: "Oh. I thought I heard that you had known each other for a very long time."
Me: "Where did you get that?"
Special ed student: "I think I get it from my mother's side."

"You're a man, right? So you have a disability about communication."--my mentor teacher telling it like it is to some 15-year-old boys in the intro class. They were offended.

"I'm so bored!"--one of my 8th graders, at 830 in the morning, before we'd done anything.

"That's granny! She ain't no secretary!"--a senior, appalled at our advice that her friend pull her short skirt down.

"Is having a kid really as bad as people say?"--one of the crew members, genuinely curious.

"Alright...I love you..."--an 8th grader, improvising at the end of the scene, during which he was playing a cop taking a phone call from a kid whose friend had been bullied. It was so wrong but so funny.

"Are we getting paid for this?!"--an 8th grader, at the end of the period they spent helping paint the set for the play.

"You know what I wanna see? A body after it's been dead for a year."--one of the kids in the play, which makes me conclude, yet again, that teenagers are so weird.