I swear there was something in the air this week. Maybe it's the days leading up to a holiday break or the holidays in general or the weather changing or the fact that yesterday two people were out and, today, three people were.
BUT THIS WEEK WAS BANANAS!!
As I have said only a handful of times since being hired, these were some "double shot of vodka on ice at the end of the day" days.
8-year-old brat: Is that your phone? Me: Yep. 8-year-old brat(regarding it): You know. I have a better phone than you. And it's $400.
10-year-old girl, attempting to help her friend with her homework: Usually a sad story means someone dies at the end.
I was talking to a senior in HS about how I was about to swear because I was so frustrated, and that I was in fact, a potty mouth. When he couldn't fathom it, I reminded him I was from New York, and he said: "Mother Annie turns into New York Pirate."
Me to a teen getting some data entry done at a desk near mine: You can turn on the iTunes radio, since you'll be here for a while. Him: I could just sing slave songs instead.
Other highlights of the week included: Spontaneously performing a slow-motion hug with an 8-year-old upon her arrival; My new mentee calling me a "freak." But, like. In a good way.
This is an abbreviated post because I spent Wednesday at home sick in bed and Thursday and Friday at a community arts educators conference which finishes up tomorrow afternoon...
"Can you tell Nicholas to stop chasing us? He's trying to hump us!"--an unexpected plea from an 8-year-old boy.
Me to our intern: Do you listen to music while you work? Him: Not usually. Me: Nothing lyric-heavy... Him: Like jazz? Me: Yeah, or Enya. Him: Oh, that's in the movie Gladiator, right? Me: [laughing] I was about to tell you I did my math teacher to that music. [Disclaimer: I MEANT MATH HOMEWORK!]
"I bet you looked like Chips and Poncho!"--my colleague, imagining our art teacher blowing his hair out. I died. She meant Ponch.
"Grinding is nothing new."--a guest hip-hop artist, after his amazing keynote speech about teenagers, answering a question from the audience of community educators, "What is grinding all about anyway?"
During scenework on bullying, in which a girl is teased for the food she's eating, a 7th grader asked, "What if she's eating, like, a nose?"
"The chicks dig it."--a HS senior, about his teeny tiny phone.
Me: So, what's new? Sophomore boy: I'm pregnant. Me: Wow! That really would be news! Are you a lady? Sophomore boy: Sometimes.
12-year-old Chinese girl, working on her Civics HW, for which she had to write 10 facts she knew about USA: In New York, they have that thing. [puts her hand up] Me: I have no idea. Girl: The woman. In the ocean. Me: Oh! The Statue of Liberty!
Co-worker A: [clenching his teeth before the kids arrived] Grant me the serenity!
Co-worker B: When I was little, I used to think Bill Clinton was Jesus. He would come on the TV and my mom would get really excited, and I was like, "Is that Jesus?"
Girl A: I need to go ask him something. Me: [letting her in to the closed Ed Center and keeping her friends out] Girl B: Annie! Me: She had a question! Girl B: But I'm with her all the time!
For your information, this is all Netflix's fault.
I discovered that Felicity is on Instant Watch.
This is a show that I wasn't only devoted to while it was actually airing (it was really a one-two punch with Dawson's Creek) but that I became obsessed with again during the summer before I moved to New York, when S and I would watch it at her parents' house every afternoon.
So, yesterday, I watched a couple episodes, and then did some research on Keri Russell.
Turns out, she was in the Bon Jovi music video for their song "Always," which was a little factoid I did not recall.
Let's investigate.
Wait.
What?
I do not remember that video being like that at all.
Keri Russell, Carla Gugino, that guy with the feminine jawline and broken nose, AND Colin from 90210??
So, let me get this straight.
The video opens in Mexico(?) where Girly Jawline is mooning over a photo. He fondly remembers taking dirty pictures and videos of his GF Carla Gugino, which her roommate, Felicity, discovers. Then, he makes bedroom eyes at FELICITY and Carla discovers them making their own homemade porn. (And, you KNOW that Felicity is wearing a green push-up bra because that girl's boobies are TINY in real life.)
Carla is discovered, crying, in an alley by Colin, who whisks her away to his artist's loft and paints her shirtless.
But the painting only makes Carla miss Girly Jawline, so she CALLS him and invites him over to Colin's house, shows him the painting of her, and he throws audio-visual equipment around and stabs the painting to shreds, at which point, Carla is DUNZO!
She exits, crying, in her red lacy nighty and black bra.
And Girly Jawline BLOWS UP THE JOINT and is deported to Mexico?
But, wait! Is Carla THERE?
Alas, no, it is just Girly Jawline's fantasy.
Meanwhile, Jon Bon Jovi sings his little heart out showing off some SERIOUS heavage.
I bet all those actors are mortified that this exists (except for the jawline guy and Colin--they haven't been doing much of note lately), but I think it exemplifies precisely everything that is important to understand about 1994.
During acting class, in which the kids were tasked with presenting "as ifs" for established scenes, the girls were acting out a scene on an airplane during which a customer needs peanuts and tea from her British flight attendant: "Now, do the scene as if you are at a circus party with hot dudes with no shirts."
The rest of the quotes came last night, during our Halloween Family Night.
This is what I was wearing: Old Chuck Taylor sneakers, two pairs of striped socks scrunched down, bright blue tights, a denim skirt and turquoise belt, a stretchy black long sleeve shirt tucked into my skirt (a la bodysuits), a bright red poncho, ONE blue circle earring, and my hair in a sideways ponytail with a gold scrunchy.
Exactly two young people figured out I was from the 80s.
Here were the other guesses: Three votes for "schoolgirl," Two votes for Punky Brewster, Two votes for Red Riding Hood, One vote for Exercise Barbie, and one vote for a Smurf.
Also, one kid just straight up asked what I would say if she said I looked ugly.
I don't really recall watching The Wonder Years when it was airing, although now that I kill time once in a while by watching it on Netflix, every episode seems familiar.
I don't know if that's because it's so ingrained in my generation's pop culture knowledge or because I actually watched the show from when I was 5 until I was 10 and I just don't have any super clear memories of those times.
In either case, it's a brand new experience to watch these episodes now. With my own experiences of puberty and struggles with my parents and figuring out dating. And my vague understanding of the 60's and 70's.
And my brain just exploded because, in one episode, Karen's boyfriend, Louis, is played by him.
IMDB informs me that this was only his second credit AND that, on the show, he is credited as "Jack Corbett."
BUT. THAT. IS. AIDAN!
Dude has made a long career out of kissing woman on the small screen.
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