Overheard at Work, vol. XXII

During scenework on bullying, in which a girl is teased for the food she's eating, a 7th grader asked, "What if she's eating, like, a nose?"

"The chicks dig it."--a HS senior, about his teeny tiny phone.

Me: So, what's new?
Sophomore boy: I'm pregnant.
Me: Wow! That really would be news! Are you a lady?
Sophomore boy: Sometimes.

12-year-old Chinese girl, working on her Civics HW, for which she had to write 10 facts she knew about USA: In New York, they have that thing. [puts her hand up]
Me: I have no idea.
Girl: The woman. In the ocean.
Me: Oh! The Statue of Liberty!

Co-worker A: [clenching his teeth before the kids arrived] Grant me the serenity!

Co-worker B: When I was little, I used to think Bill Clinton was Jesus. He would come on the TV and my mom would get really excited, and I was like, "Is that Jesus?"

Girl A: I need to go ask him something.
Me: [letting her in to the closed Ed Center and keeping her friends out]
Girl B: Annie!
Me: She had a question!
Girl B: But I'm with her all the time!