Overheard at Work, vol. LXXXIX

Only 10 days of work are between me and my LA vacation with the girls and their boys.

But who's counting?

Of course, these 10 days include the fall music showcase and the Holiday Party, which will feature my program's little play, both large art-centered events that are a ton of work to prep for, but will hopefully make the weeks go quickly.

Where did 2013 go?

12-year-old girl, finishing reciting her list of Christmas present requests: And a Barbie.
Me: Which Barbie?
Girl: The black one.

10-year-old boy: I work for Obama. Obama pays me once in a week...for gardening.

Colleague A, describing an intervention she had to make after-hours, with a teenaged girl: She was going to make bad decisions behind Burger King.
Colleague B: Why would you do it in the front?

9-year-old, lingering in the office: I put my grandma on speed dial/called it Instagram. I put a spider on a camera/called it webcam.
(Full disclosure: I thought he had created these inspired lyrics on his own. Turns out they were created by @RapLikeLilWayne on Twitter. Though, through further investigation, it looks like he might have actually made up the second lyric.)

Colleague C: I ate an entire bag of Oreos last night.
Me: How did you not just projectile vomit after that?
Colleague: I did regurgitate a little while running.

Me, to a group of Middle Schoolers in the hallway, after I urged them several times to find a program area: None of you are acknowledging my words.
13-year-old boy: I never acknowledge words.