Overheard at Work, vol. XXVIII

I do not understand time.

How is it possible for a week to seem endless and SUPERSHORT at the same time?

This week, I:
Had my last two rehearsals for the work event I led Thursday,
Led a work event Thursday that included the FIRST-EVER play presentation,
Had super crazy anxiety about getting the stomach virus that is floating around,
Walked around the building, herding the kids, for about 5 1/2 hours today.

I am beat.

An 11-year-old processing through his homework assignment to find the correct word to fill in the blank: Dislogical? Unlogical? Fartlogical?

A 9-year-old, commenting on how she'd be able to play a game where you improvise ways to "please the queen" if a boy was sitting in as "King": How do you make a boy happy?
I laughed and told her I HAD NO IDEA!

Another 9-year-old's offerings to said "King": I will give you Beyonce, Shakira, and belly dancers.
Oy.

Me to a 12-year-old: I need you to be in the next play!
Him: I think I already get enough publicity.

Colleague: I wish I was a soccer ball so I could hit kids in the face and not get in trouble.
I promise, she loves her job.