Overheard in the Classroom (or Kids These Days), vol. XIII (the Final Edition)

It's late, and I can't even begin to describe what an emotional and fulfilling week this was. In fact, I can't even begin to describe what an emotional and fulfilling semester this was.

It was soul-filling, infuriating, frustrating, anxiety-inducing, hilarious, enlightening, moving, inspiring, nauseating, interminable, and over in a second...

Here are some highlights of a truly momentous week:

"You look stressed. Is there something I can help you with?"--one of the young men in the play, restoring my faith in the next generation.

Mentor teacher: Stop flirting with the student-teacher!
Student: "Student" is the key word!

Mentor teacher: Do a little "peas and carrots, peas and carrots." (coaching the student to mime talking on stage)
Student: I'm allergic to vegetables!

"Isn't it important to go up to a tree and just listen?"--my philosopher intro student, who is the only person I totally broke down with when we said goodbye tonight.

An exchange after an intro group's final scene presentation:
Me: What were they doing that other groups weren't?
Student: Acting!
...He was right, but I was expecting a different answer.

"I'm gonna miss you like a fat kid on a diet misses cake."--one of my 8th graders when I reminded them today would be my last day.

An example of how my professionalism slipped this week, after spending long after-school hours:
Student: This packet's too long.
Me: You're too long.
(Honestly, I didn't mean it like that...and I managed not to laugh when I said it.)

"Buttocks. Sweaty!"--an 8th grader's reason for needing to buy a bottle of water.

"How you gonna tell me where I take a dump?"--another 8th grader's emphatic argument when someone challenged his...routine.

And, as I said goodbye at the end of the 8th grade class, my final one today:
Me (to Student A): Be good!
Student A: I'll try.
Me (to Student B): Be good!
Student B: No!

Exactly.