Overheard at Work, vol. LXXXIX

Only 10 days of work are between me and my LA vacation with the girls and their boys.

But who's counting?

Of course, these 10 days include the fall music showcase and the Holiday Party, which will feature my program's little play, both large art-centered events that are a ton of work to prep for, but will hopefully make the weeks go quickly.

Where did 2013 go?

12-year-old girl, finishing reciting her list of Christmas present requests: And a Barbie.
Me: Which Barbie?
Girl: The black one.

10-year-old boy: I work for Obama. Obama pays me once in a week...for gardening.

Colleague A, describing an intervention she had to make after-hours, with a teenaged girl: She was going to make bad decisions behind Burger King.
Colleague B: Why would you do it in the front?

9-year-old, lingering in the office: I put my grandma on speed dial/called it Instagram. I put a spider on a camera/called it webcam.
(Full disclosure: I thought he had created these inspired lyrics on his own. Turns out they were created by @RapLikeLilWayne on Twitter. Though, through further investigation, it looks like he might have actually made up the second lyric.)

Colleague C: I ate an entire bag of Oreos last night.
Me: How did you not just projectile vomit after that?
Colleague: I did regurgitate a little while running.

Me, to a group of Middle Schoolers in the hallway, after I urged them several times to find a program area: None of you are acknowledging my words.
13-year-old boy: I never acknowledge words.

Just Write {2}

I was talking to my mom about self-inflicted assignments, like the writing project NaNoWriMo and even this "Just Write" series and was all stressed about how I was super busy on Tuesday and would be sneaking in a blog post late at the end of the night, when I realized, JUST WRITE ON MONDAY, ANNIE!

So.

My four-day weekend is over. I purposefully didn't do anything except relax, sleep, eat, drink, and hang with friends this weekend.

It was lovely.

But it also means that I have to budget in time this week to do loads of laundry, clean my house, and get some groceries for myself. It doesn't help that my weekend is already sort of packed with plans and that I have a regular work week, which means getting home after 8 PM all week.

Sigh.

Back to reality.

Countdown to Christmas vacation has begun! 15 work days between me and over a week off!

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXXVIII

Four-day weekend, HERE I AM!

13-year-old, talking about cooking: I make it with my secret ingredient. Love.

Me, to a teen boy desperate for snack: Why are you so hungry?
Teen boy: Because the struggle is real.

Colleague A: I like pork in my stuffing.
[I give her the side eye.]
Colleague A: Shut up.

Colleague B, singing: Ready to rock you! Ready to rock you!
Me: ...Radioactive! Radioactive!
Colleague B: K.

Just Write {1}

Courtesy of Extraordinary Ordinary's exercise Just Write, here goes my first installment.

Tonight was our Thanksgiving Family Night at work, which means I spent my evening encouraging kids to decorate leaves to add to our ThanksGIVING tree.

One very creative 7-year-old decided he didn't want to make a leaf detailing what he was thankful for, when I first asked him, but on second thought ended up writing many: Pizza, Turkey, Legos, Holidays, Christmas.

It was hilarious.

Last month's Family Night, which was Halloween, I cleaned up spilled pumpkin soup all night.

This time, I talked to parents, kept an eye on the leaf-making and ended up eating a pretty satisfying and traditional Thanksgiving meal.

I won't be having one on Thanksgiving proper, so I was glad to have gotten some turkey, stuffing, potatoes, green beans, and pie out of my work day.

On Thursday, my cousin and I will be indulging in a hodge podge meal of lobster, stuffing, brussel sprouts, and brownies.

I am so excited.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXXVII

Sorry it's been so long. I've had a couple short weeks in there, having just been Maid of Honor at S's wedding.

Plus, the kids are crazy and squirrely and annoying and we're all ready for a break.

Four-day weekend, here I come!

14-year-old boy, after his cousin jabbed him in the face: Damn! Your nail! I think you popped one of my pimples!

Me, regarding Colleague: He has no chivalry in his body.
Colleague: Nope. It's all in MY DICK.
[Disclaimer: We were off duty, at this point.]

10-year-old boy, as I badgered him while he was on his phone: Can't I tweet in peace?
[Extra tidbit: His Twitter username is itwasntme. Perfect.]

7-year-old girl: What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!

Me, suggesting musicians to a 17-year-old boy: Sorry, these are all white people!
Boy: That's alright. I know white people got skills!

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXXVI

Halloween usually means an insanely busy few days, full of prepping for a Haunted House and special family event. This week was busy, but not INSANELY so.

Also, I canNOT believe it's November.

WTF.

Teen boy, about his friend, and a propos of nothing much: It's funny cuz he's ugly.

Me, to same teen boy, about his shirt: Nice dinosaurs!
Boy: I really thought they were birds!

Volunteer, to me on Halloween, since I wasn't really in costume: I really would have taken you for the Wonder Woman type.
(Best compliment ever, by the way.)

Me, to 6 year old, generously sharing his candy: Why do you have candy?
Boy: Because. So everyone doesn't get hungry!

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXXV

I have nothing clever to say about the last two weeks. It's been steadily busy. We're all mildly sick. The kids are squirrely.

October is notoriously long.

"Street pharmacist"--my colleague's poetic euphemism for "drug dealer."

Colleague B, confirming my personal information for the annual audit: Your date of birth?
Me: 6/23/1983
Colleague B: Your date of hire was...1/3/11.
Me: Yes.
Colleague B: You're single?
Me: ...Yes...WAY TO RUB IT IN!

Me: I want a nickname!
Kid 1: Drammy!...Acty!
Kid 2: Candy!
Kid 3: Fanny!...CYNTHIA!

Colleague C, re. her dog barking at servicemen who appear at her apartment: (whispering) She's classist!

11-year-old girl, to her teammate, playing Foos Ball: Put some rubber on that boot. Be a duuuuuuuuuude!

10-year-old girl: Salads are...eh.
Me: Salads are amazing!
Girl: Yeah, with French fries!

Colleague D, re his mid-day snack: I might have to break into my emergency hot dog!

Colleague E, calling after another colleague walking up the stairs: Look at you, lookin all bad! Lookin like a piece of autumn!