Overheard at Work, vol. LVIII

Sorry it's been so long.

Last week sucked, as we endured a hurricane, a funeral, and a funeral reception at work. We're all kind of crawling out of that funk of a week slowly.

This week, we enjoyed an Aerosmith concert down the street and the reelection of a President who will keep our business running because he supports the middle-class, non-profits, the arts, and immigrants.

Fewf.

Me, about and to an 8-year-old boy: I love him and I hate him.
Him: Same here!

And, after we moved him to work alone because he was being disruptive: Gosh! People these days!

8-year-old boy, every time I touch him: It hurts as hard as I can remember...I'm very delicate. I'm like a skeleton.
(Mind you, I do super annoying things like stick my finger in his ears. So I don't blame him for crying wolf.)

12-year-old girl: I do my best work at the last minute.
Me: You're a super procrastinator?
Her: I'm really good at it!

Colleague, after my other colleague and I had an in-depth conversation sotto voce: Women...are really good...at whispering.

Overheard at Work, vol. LVII

"You're so cute. I like your face."--a teen girl to an 8 year old boy.

"I feel like I never go to the bathroom anymore."--my coworker, resigning herself to life at our job.

"Can someone come over here and entertain me?"--a teen girl, to a room full of her friends.

This week, we lost a very important member of our staff family, as our coworker succumbed to a swift illness on Thursday morning. 

KC was the epitome of a firecracker, super dedicated to her work and her coworkers, and unbelievably caring to everyone around her, despite her brash exterior.

Last winter, when I co-hosted the holiday party for staff, we gave everyone a superlative award, and choosing which award to give KC was the easiest decision we made: Bark is Worse Than Her Bite. 

She was beyond tickled and thrilled to receive it and kept it in a frame at the front desk. 

Even in her final weeks, she had enough balls to flirt with the beautiful male nurse assigned to her and the generosity to ask how we were all doing.

KC was fierce, loud, abrasive, hilarious, a true individual, and full of piss and vinegar. 

Her hair and nails were always just so. 

She listened to Motown and Rock n Roll and could never quite figure out how her email worked. She did the work of about 2 1/2 people and kept our building running as smoothly as possible, without any of us even knowing. 

But most importantly, she loved our kids, wanted only to keep them safe, and had a great love of life. 

There will never be another like her. We will never forget her, and work will never be the same without her.

Overheard at Work, vol. LVI

Finally feeling slightly on top of things at work...On top of things, mind you.Not ahead of them...which my supervisor says is pretty darn good.

13 year old, to me: You have a boyfriend, not a husband?
Me: I have no one.
Her: You have us!

Me, to middle schoolers: What are you guys doing?
12 year old: Walking and talking and living our lives!

Me: How old are you?
Alumna: 20.
Me: What? What do you do?
Alumna: I'm in beauty school. Learning how to do weave--I mean, hair!

9 year old, to a middle schooler on crutches: Are those real?

11 year old, about her crush: I don't think he's gone through puberty yet.
Me: Oh, has his voice changed?
Her: No, his voice is really high.
Me: You haven't gone through puberty yet either!
Her: How do you know? Wait, what's puberty? Is that when you get your period and boobs?

Colleague: Do you always talk this much?
11 year old: Yes! My mother said I used to talk so much when I was a baby, she'd put a diaper over my head. JK. That's a false story.

Overheard at Work, vol. LV

I realized this week that there are three kinds of busy days at my job.

1. The day that is packed to the minute with meetings. Example, Arrive at work at 11:00 AM, meeting at 11: 30, meeting at 12:30, interview at 2 PM, homework help at 3:30, onboarding at 4:30, run program at 5:30, leave at 7 PM.

2. The day that is busy because there are 300 kids in the building and I run all over the place all day.

3. The day that is unexpectedly busy, so that every time I sit down, I am called to tend to a kid or a coverage issue or a delivery or an emergency.

And even though this week was only 4 days long, it feels like about 4 in the morning and that it should be Saturday.

This fall is kicking my ass.

On Wednesday, during homework help, I sat down at a table of 3rd and 4th graders, who immediately asked me, "Who are you voting for?" I didn't really feel comfortable telling them, since I wasn't sure what their parents were stuffing down their throats, but I was encouraged when one of them yelled, "OBAMA!" and another very seriously said, "I'm voting for Romney 0%." Finally, one very sagely announced, "Romney doesn't like immigrants, so he doesn't like our families."

"Look! It slides."--my coworker, trying desperately to prove that her phone is "hip."

"I'm probably gonna marry a poet,"--11 year old, as we went from discussing attending her first dance to discovering boys to marriage.

"Hi Brandon!...Hi...whatever your name is."--8-year-old greeting my coworker with the wrong name but then really thinking about it and giving up.

"My future beard starts right here!"--13 year old, announcing his serious facial hair plans.

Overheard at Work, LIV

It was a very busy week at work, so I only had one quote, until this afternoon, when I was visited by a couple very hilarious kids, so I collected many more quotes at the last minute today.

"I need some professional help!"--an eight-year-old during homework time.

All of the following quotes are from this afternoon:

Colleague: What's your favorite color?
8-year-old: TARTAR SAUCE!

And these last few quotes are all from one of my favorite kids, an 11-year-old who has been in my programming for a year, works super hard at school, and lives with her strict Haitian parents who overextend her and pressure her to do better than her best. She is amazing.

Plus, we have the same birthday.

"You do random things. I never know when to expect you."--to me, after I showed her the food in my mouth.

"You should think about getting married."--to me. (Grumblegrumble.)

Me: [about my colleague] Her hands and feet are really big! You should go put your hand up against hers.
11-year-old: Are they soft or cold?
Me: Those aren't opposites!
11-year-old: No. I meant what I said.

And, as she left, "We should have a sleepover. We could talk about plastic waste. And recycling."

I love her so much.

Overheard at Work, vol. LIII

Just made it through the first week of our full fall program.

It went relatively smoothly, actually, and I'm surprised at my adaptability to the after-school schedule, after working early mornings all summer. It's nice to have my mornings back.

Here are some quotes gathered from the past two weeks, now that our kids are back:

"I promise maybe I'll come."--a 4th grader's hedgy response to my request she come to my program. (She didn't.)

16-year-old: Annie. Guess how many girls I kissed at school today.
Me: Zero.
Him: Three.

16-year-old: I want to be like Charlotte but have Samantha's career.

During my drama program, in which I tasked the kids with presenting fairytales in just 60 seconds, they were getting caught up in costumes and props. One team was presenting Rapunzel and suddenly they were covered in scarves and hats.
Me: Why would Mother Gothel wear a hat?
11-year-old: Because she's ghetto.

And as I was leaving this evening, this happened:
16-year-old: Annie, do you know who Nas is?
Me: Yes! (racking my brain) Oh, he was married to Kelis, right?
Him: Yes! She doesn't know who he is. (to the intern next to him)
Me: Now wait a minute. Don't be surprised because I'm a white girl that I know about rap.
Him: No! Everyone should know who he is. It goes: Jesus, God, Biggie, Nas.

To My Cousin's Baby, on her Second Birthday

Dear E.W.E.,

Two years ago today, you were on your way into this big, crazy, challenging world.

This year has gone by in a blur.

It feels like yesterday that I was carefully placing balloons in your house while you took a nap before your first birthday party.

The biggest change this year has been in your speech. You use your words (FULL SENTENCES!) now to express your joy, pain, frustration, fear, and anger.

Just this evening, your mom and I were chatting on the street. You were wearing your bright yellow chicken helmet, after having scootered all the way to JP Seafood and back from dinner! After a while, your mom scooped you up, but she and I kept chatting.

Finally, having had enough, you said, very clearly, "I want to go home."

And off you went. To take a bath, get ready for bed, and sleep through the time of day you were born.

You'll wake up a 2-year-old!

A big, boisterous, babbling 2-year-old.

This year, you have stepped solidly into your fearlessness.

You LOVE being upside down, and going down slides, waterslides, and even on amusement park rides!

I will never forget how, when you were just barely one, your mom and my mom visited me at work. I gave you all a tour of the club and then we stopped in the gym to chat with my coworker there. Your mom put you down and you walked right onto the basketball court, unafraid of the big teenage boys playing there, determined to grab a basketball.

You stopped the boys in their tracks.

And I know that was just the beginning.

Happy birthday. I love you.

Love,
Auntie Pretzel