A Day of Remembrance...and a Story of Impending Puberty

It is a grand holiday for those of us born in the time of the original Beverly Hills, 90210. That day that happens just once in our lifetime, 9/02/10.

I know I've already posted once today, but then I discovered the worldwide holiday, and realized I had to post another embarrassing story, like Sassy's.

I think my favorite episode of 90210, inexplicably, is the one in which Brenda has a breast cancer scare. And during the SATs, no less!

What shitty luck.



The thing is, this episode aired during the thrilling period of time in my life when my...buds were developing.

You remember that time, when a breeze blowing in the right direction caused such searing pain that you'd get tears in your eyes?

I remember, once, I bashed them against the desktop in my 5th grade classroom and almost passed out.

But, of course, initially, I didn't know what these little hard nubs were, and so, I figured, OF COURSE, they're CANCER!

Of course, my pediatrician assured me they weren't. And that I was well on my way to blossoming into a young woman.

Great.

And, thanks for fostering my catastrophic thinking, Aaron Spelling...(may you rest.)

Consider It Your Duty...

Hello, loyal and trusted readers.

Please take a moment to notice the new badge on the left.

I have been chosen to be a contributing blogger on The Printed Blog, a new publication which prints the best blogs of the week.

As far as I understand it, celebrity contributing editors will read through the contributing blogs each week and pick the best posts to be published and distributed to paying subscribers. This means that I (GASP!) can get PAID for my posts IF you give me enough votes to make them notice!

Check out a New York Times article on The Printed Blog here.

This is a new and exciting idea, and I hope you will continue to support me as things here may begin to expand!

Thank you for all your support, thus far. I think it's fitting that I'm making this announcement as my 500th post!

PLEASE VOTE!!!! And, while you're at it, become a fan and/or a follower!

(I already voted for myself. Is that cheating?)

I Think This is Important

I think it's because HOME has always been a...sensitive subject.

But, as soon as it asked for my childhood home address, I knew it was going to make me cry.

In fact, I watched it once with my childhood home address and another time with the address I had the last two years I was in college.

Those are the only two homes I've had.

Aside from this one, which is finally beginning to feel real...

I Wonder if Students Will Study This Show in History Classes

I've just completed watching the first season of Mad Men, on my trusty Chinese streaming channel.

This is a show of which I've seen most of the second season and have meant to go back and start from the beginning to get all caught up since around 2008.

That's when it started winning all kinds of awards.

I didn't quite know what to make of the show then, and, frankly, I still don't.

It's so weird.

It's like a strange, dark, history lesson, full of inexplicably long-sleeved flannel pajamas, liquor, cone bras, and hundreds of cigarettes.

Nobody is who he seems.

Everyone has sex on couches.

I find myself distracted by thoughts like:

Jon Hamm's hair steals every scene.

January Jones sure is gorgeous, but she's grating.

I can't figure out what I don't like about Vincent Kartheiser, who plays Pete. But he looks exactly like Wil Wheaton.

Hey, that's Annie from Community!

Too bad I knew Peggy got pregnant the first season. That would have been a real shock.

Wait, why don't they just use their cell phones?

What is it like for the actors to smoke all those fake cigarettes?

If they drank so much at work during that time, who did all the dishes?

And, I have always thought I was born in the wrong era.

If you put me in those cinched and tailored clothes and all that intense underwear, I would have looked exactly like this:



I swear.

I Watched Another Award Show...So You Didn't Have To

Truth be told, part of me would rather be cleaning my apartment right now.

Especially since my shitty subletter left a huge mess in the house and the room that Naheil is taking over next week. Even though I offered to help her.

Twice.

Bitch snuck out without so much as a word of farewell and left a room full of furniture and a mess. I’ve been cleaning my apartment all day, in the pursuit of a clean slate.

I counted it as my cardio for the day.

But! I’ll continue my efforts to scrub her out of the house tomorrow.

Tonight, I have more pressing things to do! Like share my impressions of the Primetime Emmys with all of you!

I know you’re excited.

I watched the last 10 minutes or so of the Red Carpet ceremony. Mostly, it was awkward, as per usual. And I was slightly ashamed to discover that I recognized both Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen’s voices from down the hall.

Obviously, I watch too much TV.

I won’t even share how many entire series of shows I’ve seen since I got back from Connecticut less than three weeks ago…BUT...I am now addicted to Dexter and will soon be addicted to Mad Men, both of which are big and deserving contenders tonight.

Here are some highlights and lowlights of the evening.

Highlights:
That ridiculously amazing opening number. A genius cast of Glee actors, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Kate Gosselin, Jon Hamm, Hurley!, Joel McHale, and more singing “Born to Run.” I might have gotten a chill and a tear in my eye. I am such a nerd.

I wanted NPH to win the award for Supporting Actor in a Comedy, but Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family winning also made me ridiculously happy because he totally deserves it, and he looked so genuinely dazed.

Jane Lynch winning Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Love her, love her, love her. She is so classy and smart and funny.

Ryan Murphy, shouting out for arts education during his acceptance speech for Directing in Comedy for his work on Glee.

George Clooney’s cameo in the Modern Family clip.

Edie Falco proclaiming herself not funny, as she accepted the award for Lead Actress in a Comedy Series.

Fallon as Elton John, Boys II Men, and Billie Joe Armstrong, honoring 24, Law & Order, and LOST.

Kyra Sedgwick making a super classy speech, accepting for Lead Actress in a Drama, and making Tina Fey hold her award.

Ricky Gervais, killing it, as always, while presenting and bringing the audience beers. Then, making the name Bucky Gunts sound as filthy as it should. Ridiculous.

George Clooney’s generous and witty speech, accepting the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award.

Julia Ormond, accepting for Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie, for her work in Temple Grandin, announcing that she told her mother she had been “emminated for a Nommy.”

Claire Danes’s dress.

David Strathairn, honoring teachers, during his acceptance speech for Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie for his work in Temple Grandin.

Claire Danes being so collected and eloquent, accepting an award for Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie for Temple Grandin.

Jimmy Fallon embracing Tom Selleck, “his dad.”

Matthew Weiner jumping right back into the speech that was interrupted, while accepting Best Drama Series, for Mad Men.

Modern Family winning Best Comedy Series. So great! I loved that Ed O’Neill was sneaking around to congratulate everyone.

Lowlights:
Lauren Graham’s dress

Padma Lakshmi on the mic while the producer of Top Chef accepted the award.

The botched slap between Julianna Margulies and Jimmy Fallon, introducing the Drama category. I’m on the fence about the category intros, in general.

The producers cutting off Matthew Weiner’s acceptance speech for Writing in a Drama. Glad he got a chance to continue it…

I love her, but Tina Fey’s dress

January Jones mumbling Julia Ormond’s name. It’s pronounced OR-muhnd, lady.

Anna Paquin’s dress, panting, and pouting, during her stint as presenter

General thoughts:
I’m glad Dexter got one award, and Mad Men got two. Sad Friday Night Lights didn’t get anything!

Apparently, I need to get on the Breaking Bad wagon! What is WRONG with me?

And, finally, the question that I know you’re all dying to know the answer to: how many times did I cry?
The opening number, Stonestreet’s speech, Lynch’s speech, the Reality montage (don’t judge), BOTH commercials for this season of the Oprah show (feel free to judge this), the Drama montage, Julianna Margulies’s tribute to George Clooney, the Miniseries and Movies montage, Temple Grandin’s appearance, Claire Danes’s win (this one actually got tears to fall), Temple Grandin winning best Television Movie and the producer’s speech.

That’s a grand total of twelve.

Jesus.

Love Letters to Inappropriately Aged Actors

I have a confession.

This will come as no shock to those who know me, but...I like younger dudes.

I think it started in college, when I was dating a 19-year-old freshman my senior year, as I was turning 22.

Since then I've had countless crushes on guys younger than me. I even liked an 18-year-old when I was turning 25--that was the biggest gap. It doesn't help that I've spent two summers on a camp staff where the average age is probably 24.

Since then, though, I've made a rule that if he can't get into a bar without a fake ID, I refuse to look at him twice. That is just too embarrassing.

Anyway...ahem...below are some of the dashing young lads that make my ever-aging heart beat a little faster, in counterpart to this post, and in order of degree of obsession.


Dear Taylor,
I dedicated a whole post to my newfound appreciation for you. I hope you read it. Even though I'm pretty sure you don't play on my team (I won't tell), and even though I think you're a terrible actor, I can't deny that your chemistry with Kristen Stewart on the second Twilight movie was pretty exciting.
And I know you know karate because your body is KICKIN'.
Kisses!
Annie


Zac,
I have to admit it, but I'm particularly embarrassed about my crush on you. You won me over with your adorable and solid performance in Hairspray. You're hot, you can sing, and you've got great abs. Also, I like that you sometimes roll around in the mud with naked girls. I hope Vanessa isn't jealous.
Love,
Annie


Oh, Shia. Don't worry. I don't love you just because of Even Stevens. I've actually never seen that show. In fact, I didn't discover you until your amazing performance in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, and then, I confess, I youtube-stalked you for weeks. You're totally the best actor under 25 out there right now. And, I totally approve of your new girlfriend, Carey Mulligan. She's about the only starlet I could imagine actually being both smart AND beautiful enough for you...
Fondly,
Annie

Shout-out in the comments some of the dudes you're slightly inappropriately crushing on, so I know I am not alone.

School's Out For...Ever?

I remember the first day of school always being a big deal, all the way through grad school.

Stocking up on school supplies, putting book covers on my text books, making my lunches, and deciding what the perfect this-looks-like-I-just-pulled-it-out-of-the-closet-but-I've-been-planning-this-outfit-for-weeks ensemble would be.

I distinctly remember a green bodysuit and plaid skirt in my middle school past.

Yes, there were crotch snaps. But, MAN, I felt trendy.

I remember feeling a particular kind of panic when I graduated from college.

I specifically remember writing something along the lines of, "school is what I've been doing for 16 years, and I'm REALLY good at it. What am I going to do now?"

I didn't feel the same kind of panic when I graduated from grad school. Mostly, I was overwhelmed and relieved and exhausted and ready for a vacation.

I have to admit, though, that I'm feeling the familiar yearning to head back to the classroom, more than two weeks since returning to Boston from my summer job.

Mostly, it's just hard to fill the days. I'm happy if I get a little exercise in, maybe see a friend, or make a good meal. Otherwise, I spend a LOT of time combing the internet for job listings and sending resumes...and watching a lot of Netflix, as you all know.

I'm finding myself drawn to more than just teaching jobs. I'm applying to ALL KINDS of jobs connected to schools and colleges. Even administrative stuff that I can do with my eyes closed. I find myself thinking, yeah, I guess I could do that full-time.

Someone, just give me copies to make and emails to send and messages to take. I CAN DO THAT! Just keep me connected to SCHOOL!

Maybe I'll take myself back-to-school shopping, just for fun.

This time, no crotch snaps.