Overheard at Work, vol. XLV

Good God, this week was long.

I just looked back at the quotes I jotted down earlier this week and they seem like they came from months ago.

10-year-old girl, after the end of a brief monologue about attending the "Our Changing Bodies" seminar at school: They give us pads. (defensively) What?

While checking in on an inventing activity, in which they were constructing weight-bearing chairs out of cardboard boxes:
Me: That one actually looks really comfortable.
Colleague: You should go test it.
Me: It looks like it's made for an 11-year-old boy, not a 28-year-old woman.
Colleague (to kid): Ooooh, she called you...11.

Social work intern, while killing time (to a kid): Hey, you wanna get psychoanalyzed?
Kid: You wanna get your head squished?

12-year-old, singing: Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man, the muffin man?
Colleague: Dude. Stop.

9-year-old: Annie, will you shove me in the vending machine?

Colleague: My (other) boss kicked my butt today in our workout. I'll be ripped in like...20 years.

Colleague: Do you ever feel like your water bottle is your fourth arm?

Volunteer, while setting up a riddle: So there's a midget...
Me: Excuse me, the word is little person.
Him: Little person. Dwarf.
Me: No! Dwarf is a totally different diagnosis!
Him: It is?
Me: Yeah, dwarf is regular-sized face, weird body.
(How un-PC is THAT? Oof.)