Overheard at Work, vol. XLIII

The benefit to it being BANANAS at work is that the week goes quickly. This week ended with our annual music showcase, where our band and winner of our annual singing competition both performed.

This year, we made the event a field trip so I traveled with 4 staff and 30 kids to the theatre and back last night, on about 6 hours of sleep and a mild hangover from the night before...

Here's to a three-day weekend full of pretty much NOTHING (save some spring cleaning, laundry, and light shopping.)

Lateral lisp kid, unprompted, as per usual: I am a true American!
Me: Really?
Him: NO!

In one of my acting programs, we were playing Bus Stop, where the kids' objective is to convince the person sitting on a bench that he should give up his seat. It's about character and tactic. The tactic inevitably turns to threatening physical violence:
8th grade boy: If you don't move, I will kill you.
Me: How about you try something BESIDES threatening to kill him?
Him: OK OK. I will give you brownies!

Lateral lisp kid was exclaiming to himself that BFF could mean something BESIDES Best Friend Forever, that is, that the F could stand for a bad word. Then he experimented:
Kid: You're my BFC. Best Freckled Staff.
(Yes, that is a direct quote.)

10 year old, looking at a hardboiled egg: How do you unlock this?

Teen, mildly fearful of the strings of a rug sticking out from under a door: What is that?
Me: It's the rug unraveling.
Teen: I thought it was a monster.

He and I were discussing that I hadn't had a day off except to get a root canal or be sick since January 1 (true story).
Teen: Well, technically, weekends are your days off. You just need to use them to the fullest. Get your bubble bath on.

9 year old, in a debate with my music teacher:
Teacher: Girls are gross.
Girl: Boys have a ridickilous stuffy nose.
(That's how she pronounced it, not how it's spelled. Obvi.)