i have a question...

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Inexplicable Fear #1274919820

Once in a while, the cops set up a table at my T station and do random bag checks. It's never occurred to me to wonder what they're checking for: is it drugs? Gun powder? Snacks they can confiscate?

I've been stopped a couple times, and I always giggle to myself. It reminds me of the time my bag got searched at an airport security line, when I was carrying literally a book and a magazine and the security officers laughed to themselves. Of course, I don't carry anything illegal! I don't even carry cigarettes anymore.

This morning, the station was pretty quiet, and I saw that a search table had been set up. Sometimes they don't stop me, but this time I was asked to get my bag checked, and I suddenly and irrationally got nervous.

My brain actually went, "Well, maybe I DO have something illegal this time!" I tried to make small talk with the cops, who had noticed the pins on my bag, while a female officer swept the little search patch over it and then placed it in the mechanical reader that traces remnants of cocaine or whatever they're looking for.

I was so relieved when it got cleared. The drug habit and gun stash I've been hiding even from myself remain undiscovered! Victory!

...I'm so weird.


catherine said...

It always interests me to see who the cops choose to search. My personal opinion is that they find the least suspicious looking person whom they KNOW won't give them a problem. I have been stopped at the Flatbush station 3 different times in the past 4 months on my way to work. Really guys? REALLY?!

I loved the line about your drug habit and gun stash. Funny. You're not weird, you're special.

Azor said...

I don't think there is anything weird about being nervous while being subjected to a search. The seeming presumption of guilt, the show of authority and power, the implied threat of what could happen to anyone who falls out of line-- all of these are likely to get the adreniline system pumping. I've never received a traffic ticket, but I've been pulled over several times in my life. Sometimes I am completely calm, other times my heart is pumping.

Annie said...

thanks for the comments!! yeah, it's like the opposite of racial profiling. or something. anyway, i was amused at my subconscious guilt. and confusion.