Peace of Mind

Admitting something always makes it a reality. It’s like the door to the slippery slope has been opened and somehow the force of gravity downwards is even stronger now. Sometimes there’s relief, but it’s in thoughts like Escape, Run, Move On, Quit. Not in thoughts like Work, Communicate, Evaluate. I’m still looking for a quick fix.

I keep looking down at my hands, surprised that the nails are so pink, surprised there is color in my cheeks and lips, that I still wake up every morning and make the trek to work. I’m healthy. But that comes as a shock.

So I’ve made doctors’ appointments. Three in two days, spanning 3 months. Maybe they’ll convince me.