Um. Yeah, So That Happened.

We should all come to terms with the fact that this will be an odd, weepy post.

I traveled to and from Raleigh, North Carolina and slept about 10 hours in the last 30. I am tired and anticipate the task of staying up to watch the Oscars telecast to be difficult this year.

This means, I’ll probably cry every few minutes.

Shit, I saw a clip of Kate Winslet’s acceptance speech in a promo for the Oscars on the plane and could hardly contain my sobs.

Last year, I got teary twelve times. Let’s see if we can top that.

And Franco and Hathaway, y’all better bring it. And by that, I mean that Anne Hathaway has to somehow convince me that she is NOT, in fact, totally overexposed these days. And she better not sing too much.

(Frankly, I’m not confident either of these will occur.)

Without further ado, some highlights and lowlights of the night, IMHO.

Classiest Pre-Show Moment:
Mark Wahlberg giving his costars and colleagues in The Fighter their due credit. What a guy!

Best Pre-Show Red Carpet Moment(s):
Natalie Portman, a vision in that incredible purple, actually made me teary. And, damn, Justin Timberlake looks good in a tux.
Hailee Steinfeld might be my best dressed of the night, though. Marisa Tomei is up there too.

Best Host Moment(s):
Franco: “You’re looking very beautiful and hip.”
Hathaway: “Thank you! You look very appealing to a younger demographic as well.”
Franco, dressed as Marilyn Monroe, saying he’d gotten a text from Charlie Sheen. BURN!
“Winter’s Bone. Rabbit Hole…How to Train Your Dragon; that’s disgusting.”

Worst Host Moment(s):
Annie, honey, remember you’re miked. No hollering at your actor friends.
Also, girl’s got fake-itude. As in, she comes across as totally disingenuous.
The bags under Franco’s eyes. That man needs a vacation.
No, really. Stop hollering.

Best Presenter Moment(s):
Kirk Douglas keeping the Supporting Actress nominees on their toes.
Justin Timberlake announcing he is Banksy.
Russell Brand and Helen Mirren. Favorites.
Cate Blanchett: “That’s gross.”
Billy Crystal. I missed him tonight, frankly. BRING. BILLY. BACK.
I love Sandra Bullock: “Javier. Hola…Jeff! Dude!”

Least Surprising Moment(s):
Aaron Sorkin winning for Adapted Screenplay of The Social Network (and what a classy, eloquent speech!)
All of the sound/effects awards Inception won.
Colin Firth as Best Actor in The King’s Speech.

Least Likely to Have Been Predicted in 1994:
Trent Reznor, winning for Best Score of The Social Network.

Most Surprising Moment(s):
No applause during the In Memoriam montage. It did always seem like a popularity contest.
Tom Hooper (The King’s Speech) winning over David Fincher (The Social Network) for Best Director.

Best Speech(es):
David Seidler, the 74-year-old winner of the Oscar for Best Original Screenplay of The King's Speech: “My father always said I would be a late bloomer.”
Academy Award winner Christian Bale(!) of The Fighter shouting out Dicky Eklund’s website. And then choking up for his wife and daughter. We knew you could do it back when you were just a Newsie.
Tom Hooper: “The moral of the story is…listen to your mother.”
Natalie Portman, winning Best Actress for Black Swan, is the most incredibly eloquent young woman. I am seriously honored to be in the same generation as her. Oof.

These are the moments that made me teary: Pretty much any time any actors watched their clips and then reacted like they couldn’t believe they where they were (probably upwards of 6); Kirk Douglas’s standing ovation; David Seidler’s shout-out to stutterers; the Score medley; ummm, Zachary Levi and Mandy Moore singing (shhhh); the commercials for Secret Millionaires (all of them); Kathryn Bigelow’s appearance (don’t ask me why; I’m tired); the clip of Francis Ford Coppola saying he was proud of “the generation that did so much”; anything Natalie Portman did or said; the finale (duh). That’s a whopping 15.

Overall? Zzzzzzzz.

Goodnight!