Overheard at Work, vol. VIII

"I poo! I pee!"--lateral lisp kid, making some serious announcements.

"Why did the chicken die in the frying pan?"--mostly, I was amused because the girl telling this joke was singing it woefully.

"Behave, please!"--Art Teacher
"Shut up!"--12-year-old, clearly heeding his words.

"If a skeleton needs a drink, what do you need?...A mop!"--a 9-year-old's pretty clever joke, IMHO.

"I eat cookies and milk every night before bed."--the teen coordinator's confession to the office. Enlightening.

Colleague #1: Can I jump on that computer real fast?
Colleague #2: (in jest) No!
#1: Whatever, cuz I'm gonna do it anyway.

"It looks like I jizzed myself!"--a 12-year-old's description of himself after walking to the club in the rain. I was totally shocked and called him out on it, when he asserted he had meant the synonym for "peed." Sigh.

"It was in my way!"--a 14-year-old's assertion of why he tends to knock things over.

"Tommy! Play the drums!"--an 8-year-old, banned from the music room because he's too young, standing just outside it, directing his older brother to use the room to its fullest. Funniest thing I'd seen all week.