Overheard at Work, vol. VI

First full week of work since I started, I think = lots of quotes.

"She needs Jesus."--my coworker's word vomit about a teen.

"Farts Director."--a volunteer/donor's suggestion of my title, assuming I'd heard it before. Surprisingly, I hadn't.

"He's on acid. He probably thought it was a demon and didn't answer."--a teen's justification for why the work study candidate hadn't answered the music coordinator's call saying he'd been hired to teach drums. Apparently, there are lots of pictures on the internet of him in a dashiki.

"How about that? I want that."--a 10-year-old, who had received a $25 gift card to Amazon who was told that she could order anything she wanted. She tasted my trail mix from Trader Joe's and promptly wanted to buy some for herself.

"My claps are too thunderous."--a teen's justification for why he couldn't hear the metronome while working on a rhythm exercise.

"When you pick your butt, do you do it in public?"--a 10-year-old girl, who also wondered aloud, "Is it normal for a 10-year-old to have hair under her armpits?"
Ah, youth!

"I'm dead cereal!"--a 9-year-old girl's exclamation, making a joke she didn't realize she was making.

Me: Did you do your homework?
Kid with lateral lisp: Yep.
Me: How did that go?
Kid: (world-weary sigh) Not so great.

"My birthday's coming in three months! I expect a present!"--an 8-year-old boy's exclamation as he left the office. I love kids' concepts of time.

"When you are here with me, I fell the hugs and kisses from you. Happ Happy Valinteis Day."--my first Valentine of the year, given to me by a hilarious 8-year-old. I told my coworker who told me I shouldn't tell anyone in Child Services.

"You look like a mom!"--a tween's assessment of me. I figured it's because of the glasses.

But maybe it's the wrinkles and gray hair.