Best of 2013

BOOKS
Flatfoot Vertigo by Jane Doe
Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by Susannah Cahalan
Five Summers by Una LaMarche
Gulp by Mary Roach
Lean In: Women, Work, and the Will to Lead by Sheryl Sandberg
My Beloved World by Sonia Sotomayor
Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
Fangirl by Rainbow Rowell
The Fault in Our Stars by John Green
Divergent by Veronica Roth

MOVIES
Silver Linings Playbook
Pitch Perfect
Skyfall
Man of Steel
The Way, Way Back
Catching Fire

MUSIC
Body Talk by Robyn, especially "Dancing On My Own" and "Don't Fucking Tell Me What to Do"
The Heist by Macklemore & Ryan Lewis
The 20/20 Experience by Justin Timberlake, especially "Mirrors"
Our Version of Events by Emili Sande
"I Knew You Were Trouble" by Taylor Swift
"Get Lucky" by Daft Punk
"Blurred Lines" by Robin Thicke
"Holy Grail" by Jay Z and Justin Timberlake
"Wrecking Ball" by Miley Cyrus
"Hold On, We're Going Home" by Drake
The Blessed Unrest by Sara Bareilles
Pure Heroine by Lorde
"Young and Beautiful" by Lana Del Rey
"Counting Stars" by OneRepublic

THEATER
Sister Act National Tour

Thank you all so much for your continued support, and Happy New Year!

Best of 2011

BOOKS
Writing Down the Bones by Natalie Goldberg
Room by Emma Donoghue
Bossypants by Tina Fey
A Game Plan for Life by John Wooden
Eating the Dinosaur by Chuck Klosterman
I am embarrassed that I haven't read a good book since that last one. Maybe the fact that my aunt gifted me her old Kindle(!) will change that! Eep.

MOVIES
Black Swan
Blue Valentine
The King’s Speech
Mother and Child
Only When I Dance
Kick-Ass
Mary and Max
Planet B-Boy
See What I’m Saying
Bridesmaids
Crazy, Stupid Love
Tangled
50/50
Martha Marcy May Marlene
Shame

MUSIC
“Grenade” by Bruno Mars
“Raise Your Glass” and “F*ckin Perfect” from P!nk’s Greatest Hits…So Far!
21 by ADELE, especially Someone Like You
“Edge of Glory” from Born This Way by Lady Gaga
The Archandroid by Janelle Monae, especially ”Cold War”
The Suburbs by Arcade Fire
Sigh No More by Mumford & Sons
4 by Beyonce
“Tighten Up” from Brother by The Black Keys
“Dark Side” from Stronger by Kelly Clarkson
Ceremonials by Florence + the Machine

THEATRE
Psy at Arts Emerson
Porgy and Bess at A.R.T.
I need more theater in my life, dammit!

Thank you, as always for reading! My blog turns 5 in 10 days, so look for a big celebratory post then, if not before.

I have no idea what 2012 will bring, but hopefully, it's not the end of the world.

Happy New Year!

Best of 2010

I know you've been eagerly anticipating this list ALL YEAR LONG.

I did something smart this year and actually kept track of all these things as I read or saw them.

(Keep in mind that not all of these were actually produced this year. This just happens to be the year I discovered them.)


BOOKS

The Hours by Michael Cunningham
Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott
Couldn’t Keep it to Myself by Wally Lamb and the Women of York Correctional Institute
How Did You Get This Number by Sloane Crosley
The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzanne Collins

MOVIES

Precious: Based on the Novel Push by Sapphire
Up in the Air
Fantastic Mr. Fox
Crazy Heart
Rachel Getting Married
Every Little Step
Inception
Peter and Vandy
The Cove
The Social Network
Beautiful Daughters

MUSIC

Lungs by Florence + the Machine, especially “Cosmic Love”
For Your Entertainment by Adam Lambert
Recovery by Eminem, especially "Love the Way You Lie"
The Suburbs by Arcade Fire, especially “Ready to Start”
“Breakeven” by The Script
“Uncharted” by Sara Bareilles
The Lady Killer by Cee Lo Green, especially “Wildflower”

THEATER

In the Heights National Tour
The Adding Machine at BCA
August: Osage County National Tour
Endgame at Steppenwolf
Circle Mirror Transformation at BCA
This is How and The Golden Lasso at Perishable Theatre

Happy holidays, everyone!!! Thanks for reading!

The Soundtrack of the Unemployed

I went on an interview for an AMAZINGLY perfect job for me yesterday and, since then, this is the song that has been stuck in my head:



Minus the synth-heavy orchestrations and all the spandey wear.

The lyrics start at about 5:00, but watch the whole thing because it's pretty amazing.

Sidenote: S and I decided once we were going to rewrite A Chorus Line so it occurred in Communist Russia. It would be called...wait for it!...Bread Line.

God, I hope I get it.
I hope I get it!
How many pieces do they haaaaaave?

And, of course,
One....
Single piece of brea-ead...
Every little step we take...

That's as far as we got.

Genius, right?

I Think This is Important

I think it's because HOME has always been a...sensitive subject.

But, as soon as it asked for my childhood home address, I knew it was going to make me cry.

In fact, I watched it once with my childhood home address and another time with the address I had the last two years I was in college.

Those are the only two homes I've had.

Aside from this one, which is finally beginning to feel real...

I am So Happy to Post This

It made me downright giggly.

Warning: NSFW...but definitely listen.

Watch this now!

First of all, Bobby McFerrin is 60!!

Does that make anyone else feel really old?

Also, he looks amazing.

I spent a magical night with my best friends on September 11, 2004, when we saw him at the Zellerbach on campus at school. My two friends sang onstage with him with a big group of people, and our minds were blown at how crazy-amazing he is, live or otherwise.

This video blows my mind. Music IS universal!

Duuuuuude!

This is ridiculous!!!

Word of the Day, vol. XVI

Word of the Day: MUSIC

In the summer and fall of 2004, I had a brief stint as a nightclub singer at a piano bar in the Castro.

OK, that’s not entirely true.

I don’t remember how we discovered it—S probably does—but for weeks in a row, she and I and her brother and our friends would get dressed up, head to Martuni’s (it took me like a year to get that joke), and drink fancy drinks while we waited for our names to be called so we could get up and sing to a room full of gay men and fruit flies.

Weekly, I would stand by the piano, nervously, while the pianist, Houston, would coach me and coax me through “Adelaide’s Lament” from Guys and Dolls. It was a huge crowd pleaser and sometimes I even sang it well.

Mostly, I was just having an insane time, dressed in clingy black dresses and pearls and fedoras and slashes of red lipstick. Trying to be super sexy and forgetting that I was playing to the wrong audience. Although, the friends we brought always appreciated it.

I was never really sure what I was doing, but I knew I had something…a little different to offer.

Eventually, I added “When You’re Good to Mama” to my repertoire, which I would belt to the high heavens. It’s hilarious to think that this song actually made me feel a little bit like a rockstar.

We gained a bit of notoriety at the bar; people would stop us to congratulate us as we exited, dashing to catch the last BART train or to pile foolishly into S’s parents’ car and head back to Berkeley, where we’d stay up late, eating donuts or noodles or just keeping drinking, while we regaled the events of the night.

I was in summer school that summer and we would crash, still reeling from alcohol, and I’d wake up, sweaty and hungover and have to run to campus to work in the costume shop or go to my improv class, thinking I would die on the way there.

I don’t remember sleeping more than six hours a night that entire summer.

It was an incredibly heady time, for more reasons than I can even mention here. Things among the group got very intense and our reign at Martuni’s sort of fizzled, as the summer ended. I performed a poorly executed version of “Anyone Can Whistle” one night and realized a little bit of the magic was gone.

Sometimes I imagine reclaiming my post by the piano, when I visit San Francisco, just as a lark.

I would do it just to recall some of that magic.

So Over It

(I just realized that's the title of Katherine McPhee's first single, which is appropriate since I'm about to write about American Idol. Ready?)

As most of you know, I DILIGENTLY chronicled AI Seasons Jordin Sparks and David Cook. It made me feel like an Entertainment Weekly columnist, which is secretly my dream job. And my readers demanded MORE!

Then, I started grad school and had classes Tuesday evenings last spring, so missed most of Season Kris Allen. I did, however, write excitedly about the finale. (Man, it is a devoted reader who will look back at all those posts.)

Anyway, AI was remotely on my radar this year because I do still read Entertainment Weekly and I know Ellen has taken over as judge and I sort of heard about Pants on the Ground and such. Still, I didn't even realize it was on tonight until S asked, at 7:56 PM, if I was going to watch. I was home and dinner was almost ready, and the show wouldn't cut into LOST at 9, so I watched.

And was bored and annoyed. The formula is grating on me. Ellen was fun, but I really don't like any other judge. Even Ryan was bothering me. There were a couple singers that gave me chills or made me kind of teary, but I was turned off by everything that wasn't them.

Maybe it's just because it's Tuesday, and everyone knows I hate Tuesdays, but I am not excited about this season at all yet. Plus, I won't be able to watch past 9 PM on Tuesdays because that's when LOST airs, and my loyalties really lie there.

How are you all feeling about the potential for this season, i.e., Simon's last?

Best of 2009

It's time for the THIRD annual [clever title] Best of List!!

BOOKS
A Director Prepares by Anne Bogart
The History of Love by Nicole Krauss
August: Osage County by Tracy Letts
The Passion by Jeannette Winterson

MOVIES
Revolutionary Road
Up
The Hangover
17 Again
Away We Go
(Desperately want to see: Precious, Brothers, Up in the Air, Fantastic Mr. Fox.)

MUSIC
“Halo” by Beyonce
“My Life Would Suck Without You” by Kelly Clarkson
“Grounds for Divorce” by Elbow
Relapse by Eminem
“Use Somebody” by Kings of Leon
The Fame and The Fame Monster by Lady Gaga, especially “Bad Romance”
"Happy Ending” by Mika
Riot! by Paramore, especially “crushcrushcrush”

THEATER
August: Osage County
In the Heights
Endgame at ART

Stay tuned for adventures in 2010, including:
my last semester of graduate school,
graduation from graduate school,
my return to my summer gig,
my first year of employment with a Master's degree and teaching license!

Happy New Year! Thank you for reading!

Summer Job, vol. XV: the Karaoke edition

Wednesday night, I sang Something to Talk About by Bonnie Raitt solo. It was a good night.

This afternoon, I sang Lose Yourself by Eminem with a 17-year-old student. And back-up on many a song, since karaoke was the activity of the day. It was a good day.

AI Finale

I must admit that I’m definitely not as invested in this season finale as I’ve previously been. The rumored line-up is amazing, don’t get me wrong (Cyndi Lauper, anyone?!?!), and I’m sure it will be a thoroughly entertaining show. I just don’t have a clear favorite, at this point. I think both Adam and Kris will do very well, both tonight and in whatever careers they end up having. Or maybe I’m just pretty sure that Adam’s win is inevitable, so I don’t think tonight will be that…thrilling. I’m hoping to laugh and cry, though, as I always do. I hope you all haven’t missed these recaps too much. I apologize for being gone for so long; it’s good to be back blogging the show again.

OK, I take it back. I just saw a commercial for the finale, and now I’m excited. Yeah, officially excited. Who am I kidding?

A record 624 million votes all season. People need to take up reading.

HA! For you, for me! Good for them for mocking Randy for his totally inane and obnoxious way of speaking. Ugh, sweetie, honey. Bleh. Kara, condescend much? I’m fully laughing out loud. Paula is totally secretly a genius. And Simon looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.

I’m sure I say this every year, but this is a totally ridiculous show. It’s struck me as even more ridiculous this year, not having watched all season.

Top 13 is starting us off, singing “So What.” Where’s Pink when you need her? Seriously. Last night’s FOX preview of Glee was better than this. Most talented group of singers ever, what?

I can’t wait for David Cook to put out his second and (what has to be) better album. Can you? He’s sounding good live though, and I can’t help but think that this must be about his brother, who recently succumbed to his decade-long battle with brain cancer. He was in the audience for Mariah Carey week, last year, remember?

Time to kill some time with Golden Idol Awards…I’m sure no one minds if I take this chance to tune out, put my dishes away, take a bathroom break, etc. See you back here in a few. Wait, did that guy just call Simon Sassypants? I’m obsessed. He might actually have some kind of future.

First duet of the night: Lil Rounds (that is her real name, btw; she’s named for her grandmother Lillian) and Queen Latifah. Jenny Craig is obviously working for Queen, but she should really not be wearing a black jumpsuit with tapered legs. It is not doing her any favors…These two do make a fierce duo though.

ANOOP!...And Alexis(?) and Jason Mraz, singing “I’m Yours”! That’s pretty exciting. Oh wait, everyone else is singing with them. I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be able to name all of the contestants, even if someone was holding a gun to my head. Tragic.

Kris is singing next with Keith Urban. His voice is so radio-ready, I must say. This is lovely and joyous; there’s something about Kris that is really infectious. I’m totally excited for him! (And Simon still looks like he’d rather be anywhere else.)

Now, the Top 13 ladies are singing “Glamorous.” Does anyone care? And it sounded a lot like more than five voices to me. (Has everyone seen (and heard) Fergie in the amazing trailer for Nine? It’s a must-see.) P.S. I totally thought the black and white clad dancers accompanying the Black Eyed Peas were the Top 13 boys for a second.

More Golden Idols. More of me tuning out. (Bikini girl is embarrassing, but the men onstage seem to be thoroughly…moved by her performance. Slash…good for Kara. And then she TOTALLY busted her dress open! HAHAHA! Or was that planned? Now, I’m confused.)

Where are Kris and Adam? I miss them terribly.

Allison Iraheta and Cyndi Lauper singing “Time After Time” = first tears of the night. Magical.

A time-killing check-in with the finalists’ parents. Did they separate them in the theatre because they feared a rumble?

Danny Gokey is now singing “Hello.” I like David Cook’s version better. And now, Danny’s singing a benign duet with Lionel Richie himself.

I’m bored. Only 50 minutes of time wasting left.

I must admit I’ve been waiting to hear Adam all night. I guess I do have a favorite. Or I just want to see what he ends up doing tonight. But what the fuck is he wearing? I just said that out loud. Jeebus creebus. He is taking the stage as if he’s already won, though. Oh, I get it. (Again, just said that out loud. In my living room. Completely alone.) He had to wear that get-up to keep up with KISS. How many of you think Adam actually ever listened to KISS growing up? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Is Santana just there for fun? Oh, he’s there so Matt Giraud and the others can sing with him. I should have known. I wonder when Idol will turn into a contemporary music show. Probably never. Carlos is an Adam fan, apparently. I bet it’s because he’s salsaing while he sings (and with Allison).

Yes, I’m sure neither contestant has ever watched a season of American Idol, and thus has absolutely no idea he will win a car by making it to the finale.

Steve Martin? Michael Sarver? Megan Joy? Who are these people? (Just kidding.) No, but seriously, who’s Michael Sarver? GASP! I just glimpsed a teleprompter feeding them the lyrics. Weak. It’s like seeing the magician’s mirrors. This is a train wreck. I’m bored again. 27 minutes to go.

HAHAHAHA! Top 13 boys singing and dancing to “Do You Think I’m Sexy.” And then Rod Stewart entering via the Lambert Lift. Sometimes this show is really not for the young people in America, but rather for their parents and grandparents. I forget that.

One final Golden Idol Award before the results. (Ruben Studdard, for one, is SHOCKED! That was actually pretty funny.)

Let’s get on with it!

A Queen duet. Of course. What did I expect? This show would not have been complete without one. Actually, this is pretty fun. Too bad Adam completely outsings Kris when given a QUEEN song, of all things. He’s like the next Freddie Mercury, for God’s sake.

OK, this has got to be the last commercial break. I hope you all heeded Ryan’s advice to record the show after the finale, if you were DVRing it tonight.

This is it! Simon just gave them props, genuinely (for once), for being brilliant and unusually nice people. I dig it.

After the nationwide vote of nearly 100 million, the winner of American Idol 2009 is KRIS ALLEN! HUGE UPSET! HUUUUUUUUGE UPSET! Whoa. Whoa. Whoa. Shocked.

Now, I’m feeling all cynical. I guess this just means Adam will have more artistic freedom, which is probably best.

Oh, America. How you love an underdog! (And hate a sexually ambiguous musical theater kid who wears eyeliner and nail polish. Hrmph.)

AI Top 2

Confession time: I just spent 15 minutes finding FOX on my TV. So yes, I obviously haven’t been watching this season. I had class Tuesday nights again this semester, and, frankly, I didn’t feel like I was missing anything. I would catch up Wednesdays and Thursdays by reading Entertainment Weekly online, where I got most of my impressions of this season. I also heard contradicting stories from people in my life: S said this season was boring, except for Adam (I agreed—the clips I had seen of the performances made everyone but him look like a deer in headlights, even Kris), but my cousin and even my professor kept exclaiming how exciting this season has been. Either way, I’m very excited to be able to watch and blog about the final two and the finale tomorrow. I put it in my calendar a while ago, and I am committed to providing you all with my take on these last shows.

Now, I have some things I’d like to say about my impressions of this season. First of all, it seems to me that the judges have been even less useful this season than in previous ones. I don’t know why they needed a fourth and I’m not sure anyone likes Kara. I’m curious to see what I think firsthand from tonight’s show. Secondly, everyone is all atwitter about this Adam Lambert character. It seems he’s the favorite and that this is really his competition to lose. Personally, a) I think he’s sexy; b) I wonder if he’ll win, considering ALL the attention about his sexuality and Kris’s wholesomeness and middle-America pull (where do we think Danny’s fans’ votes will go?); c) his performance of “Mad World” is probably my favorite performance of anything I’ve heard all year. In fact, it impelled me to search for obscure clips of him on Youtube, and I’ve found some juicy ones:

This is him singing “Come to Me, Bend to Me” from Brigadoon. I found this and figured they wouldn’t do an Andrew Lloyd Webber night this season.
This is a pre-nail-polish-and-guy-liner, blond(!) Adam singing at his high school graduation.
Adam as Joshua in The Ten Commandments the Musical Yes, that’s Val Kilmer as Moses. Isn’t that hilarious?!
Adam as Fiyero in the LA Production of Wicked
Boy can sing. I mean, like, actually.

And finally, Kris…a) friggin adorable; b) does he stand a chance at all against Adam? (probably only if the parenthetical statement in point b above happens); and c) the beginning of his performance of “Heartless” from last week was INCREDIBLE, and I give him props for really earning his place in the top 2.

Here we go. This…is American Idol. Ah, how I’ve missed this.

(They’re both so cute.) So, tonight, Adam and Kris will sing their favorite song from the season, a song chosen by creator Simon Fuller, and the winner’s song, co-written by Kara. Let’s hope it doesn’t suck. But it will. And, oh good, Ryan warned everyone to record the show AFTER the finale tomorrow because the show is due to run long. Remember what happened to me last year? Grrrrr. I’ll be watching live, thankyouverymuch.

Adam’s starting us off with “Mad World.” In a trenchcoat. And lots of fog. I honestly can’t decide if I just want him to stick to Broadway. He’s absolutely captivating, and he obviously feels his songs (or at least acts like he does). I’m just not sure I buy him as a rockstar. Or even a pop star. (Holy shit, Anthony Hopkins is in the audience. And that crazy applause was not for Adam; it was for Danny, when the camera landed on him.) And I agree with Simon, as per usual, about the theatricality.

Now, the question is: do you think that Adam just asks for the crazy production details, like the red staircase and blue light? And stage fog? Or are the producers pimping him out?

Kris is starting with “Ain’t No Sunshine.” Solid! I also appreciate that he’s playing the piano. I predict this is going to be a tight race. Oh, Paula. I see your inanities are still as rambly and vague as ever. She just told him he “Allenized his trademark.” Huh?

Round 2 begins with Adam singing “Change is Gonna Come,” chosen by Simon Fuller. Whoa. He’s pulled out all the stops. His vocal control is pretty impressive, and I have no problem picturing him headlining a concert. No problem. The judges are in conniptions about that performance.

It’s such an exciting show; my heart is almost pounding.

Kris is up next with “What’s Goin’ On.” (Good choices, Fuller!) Not enough has been written about what Kris’s mouth does when he sings. It’s pretty adorable…It’s almost impossible to compare these last two performances; they’re such totally different singers. It will definitely be interesting to see what they do when given the same song to perform. (Btdubs, I officially don’t like Kara.)

The single is called “No Boundaries.” I’m scared. I always am. He should win just for having the cajones to wear shoulder pads and silver pants on national TV. Um. This is a little bit of a train wreck. I consistently hate how much of an anticlimax the winner’s singles are at this part of the season. They don’t allow the contestants to have a big, satisfying finish with an actually good song. Argh.

Kris is up next with the same crappy single. He’s making it slightly more palatable. And I understood the words this time. Does that mean that he should win? I plead the fifth. The judges seem to be cushioning the blow of what they seem to think is a foregone conclusion that Adam will take it. We’ll find out soon enough!

thought of the day, 36: i guess i am excited he won

I just purchased the first David Cook single, even though I don't think it's very good.

AI Finale

Here we go, everyone! The Battle of the Davids! Are you ready? I AM! I’ve even avoided the internet since I got home, so we can get started right away, blissfully ignorant!

Everyone’s so excited! 97.5 million votes worth of excitement, in fact! 56% for one contestant and 44% for the other is a big margin! I also notice, everyone in Utah is blonde.

I’m even more excited about So You Think You Can Dance than about tonight’s results! I forgot about some of the Top 12: anyone remember David Hernandez?

But wait, we don’t want David Cook to make a record like Nickleback! NO! I heart David harmony. I’m glad they’re both such good singers for moments like this. They should do a single together! (David Cook looks super hot in his jeans and leather, btw.)

Who else sort of resents The Love Guru plug? Raise your hand o/ That is until they actually met Mike Myers: MARISKA HARGITAY, BOOM BOOM IN YOUR PULL-UPS! And Archie caught the shaving cream! Oh man. Priceless.

Syesha is back singing “Waiting For You” with SEAL(!), and she looks real pretty. This isn’t very exciting to me though. Or very good. Gotta say. And Jason’s back singing “Hallelujah.” I hope he’s having a good time, for once.

(I always love the nostalgiac Ford ads the best.) Didn’t the boys watch last year’s results show? We know they win cars.

The Top 6 girls are singing a Donna Summer medley. I wonder how Amanda feels about singing these songs. I also wonder if Carly is wearing black tights because she’s so very pale. Donna Summer needs a new weave or wig or whatever that is. Ryan breaking is the highlight of the show for me, so far. I still remain unmoved by the show in general.

Carly and Michael are singing TOGETHER. They’re totally besties. (MY best friend wanted the finale to be between Carly and David Cook, so that it could be Battle of the Belters, instead of Battle of the Davids. That WOULD have been fun!) These two should totally start an act together, and they were officially both eliminated far before they should have been. But hey, they’re the Un-American Idols, so what can you do?

Jimmy Kimmel is out to provide commentary on the season. (Things I actually laughed at: Rosemary and Satan Cowell and the Simon montage).

Top 6 guys are up to sing some Bryan Adams songs. I MISS CHIKEZIE! I like this; I think it’s going to be a good tour with all these kids! And also, David Cook is handsy—his big mitt was all up on Bryan Adams’s shoulder.

David Cook and ZZ Top singing “Sharp Dressed Man.” Excellent. Cook totally has guyliner on tonight, and I love him for it. Blake Lewis is a Cook fan, and I think he lost some weight. I can only imagine what Archuleta will be singing tonight and with whom. What’ll you bet it’s some Phil Collins business or like Celine Dion?

Brooke White and Graham Nash? Good for her! That’s got to feel good. But maybe not as good as being barefoot while she sings with him. This wins for best moment of the night, so far, and I’m not even crying.

OMG! DAVID COOK ON A GUITAR HERO COMMERCIAL! IN HIS UNDERWEAR!

I’m too old to really know who the Jonas Brothers are. Isn’t that sad? And so, we’re fastforwarding through their performance. Sorry.

And then there’s the obligatory reel of highlights and low lights from the audition rounds. Let’s move on. Although, we do still laugh about the guy who sang about letting his people go. Like once a week. I also sort of love and hate that the USC marching band have joined Renaldo onstage. (I also sort of generally loved and hated this entire season; my relationship with the show is very complicated. I think we’re fizzling.)

This One Republic song is ALL OVER THE PLACE. Ooh, this is a good one! Much better than Archie singing with Phil Collins or Celine Dion. I’m glad. (He’s such a better singer than the lead singer.)

And Jordin Sparks is back and still fake as ever! Who cares? Not me! Those back-up singers better get good money for their work; they’re pretty solid, always singing, and they rarely get any thanks.

Oh my God, Robert Downey Jr. can MOVE! I had no idea! (I did know that Jack Black was a dancer.) I’m totally seeing Tropic Thunder. Who’s with me? 2/3 of that group are my boyfriends, fyi. I’ll leave it to you to guess which ones they are.

Carrie Underwood was voted the favorite American Idol winner of all time on an AOL poll. I don’t like her outfit. She’s become an impressive wailer. That is all.

DAVID ARCHULETA IN A GUITAR HERO COMMERCIAL! IN HIS UNDERWEAR! OMG! (Cook’s was much more convincing.)

The Top 12 are back, singing George Michael songs! I completely approve of the songs that have been sung tonight, and I think it’s been a pretty entertaining show! (I’ve found myself singing outloud on several occasions, and I’m pretty sure it’s not just the red wine.) Every man looks better in a hot black suit. Period. It’s a pretty attractive bunch in general this year, isn’t it?

Who’s ready for some results? DVR is totally going to cut this broadcast off, and I’m going to have to look up the winner online. We don’t care who wins, either, Simon! They’re both great.

I’m pissed. I’m never watching DVR again. “The winner of American Idol 2008 is David.” Literally. I had to look it up on Google.

The end.

P.S. Don't know how I feel about all this. Certainly an anticlimactic end to a strange season. I'm glad he won, I guess, and surprised. I wish I could have seen it. I hope he makes a good record. I wish him all the best. I hate DVR.

P.S.S. Just watched a crappy quality Youtube video of the win. Everyone was so HAPPY! The judges were ecstatic! I love that! I think David Cook will be one of the most successful Idols of all time. (He's close to my favorite AI contestant of AI history.) If he sticks to his guns and gets to be as creative as we've seen him be, he'll be just fine! OK, now I'll be able to sleep tonight. Fewf!

AI Top 2

Oy vey. I really don’t know how this is all going to pan out. Obviously, my favorite is David Cook (he’s been my favorite six nights this season, while Archuleta has only risen to the top twice for me; further, I’ve actually spent $5 on Cook’s singles on iTunes and only $1 on Archuleta’s), but I’m seriously nervous about tomorrow’s results for several reasons:
1. I don’t want him to get stuck singing “This Is My Moment; Now, I Believe,” or whatever dreck they’re going to saddle these kids with;
2. I’m not sure I want him to get stuck with a 19 Entertainment production deal;
3. Archuleta IS the demographic of this show, and we know his intense fans will show up in droves to vote for him.
Although, the lovely people from Entertainment Weekly think that the rabid fans of Michael Johns, Carly, Brooke, Jason, and Syesha will all turn toward David Cook and, thus, crown him the winner.

Still, I just participated in this poll, and I think, in terms of my favorites all season long, it’s a pretty tight race! Archuleta was so great in the very beginning, and it took a few weeks for Cook to really stand out. And every time Cook was allowed to pick his own song, those performances were weak. This is definitely going to be an interesting night; that’s about all I know.

I’m not even going to comment on Vince McMahon. [Correction: I guess that guy's name is Michael Buffer. But then, who's Vince McMahon.] Seriously. (It is kind of crazy that they’re both named David though.) Cook used the word trite. I heart him. And he’s poised and gracious. GO COOK!

First round are songs chosen by Clive Davis. Cook will be singing U2’s “Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For.” And Archuleta will be singing “Don’t Let the Sun Go Down on Me.” Great choices!!

I can’t even write about Cook; he’s so good. It looks like he’s already headlining his tour and sounds like it too. I think he is saving some cards to be thrown on the table later in the game. It was a very solid, reserved performance. (Randy, it’s 2008. And also, I think David Cook has junk in the trunk. Boy’s got a booty. Anyone else notice?)

I love this song. This is great too. They’re just SO different! It’s so fascinating. Archuleta is coming out swinging. He’s fighting for this, and good for him for that. Whoa. (We’re totally cheering equally for both these guys in this house. Honestly, I wouldn’t be upset if either won. Although, Archuleta looks like he’s about to break.)

Oh god. The New Song Contestant’s Choice. At least they’re letting them pick which ones they want to sing tonight. Cook will be tackling “Dream Big” by Emily Shackleton, and Archuleta will be dealing with “In This Moment” by Ryan Gilmore. I’m scared.

Cook is making this nearly palatable, but I hope he doesn’t make an entire record like this when he’s hugely successful and even more famous than he is now. His hair looks fantastic tonight though. The best it’s looked all season, IMHO. (Simon has said several times that he thinks Cook will take it tomorrow night. Just sayin.)

I hate these songs. SNOOZE!! Archuleta could totally have a hit with this song though. It’s exactly the kind of song I imagine his controlling father will force him to sing when he’s making a record. (Who thinks if Archuleta wins he’ll have a breakdown at some point and eventually become a recluse and then something quiet and established like a veterinarian? Raise your hand. o/)

Round 3 is contestants’ choice. Cook has chosen “The World I Know” by Collective Soul. Archuleta will be singing “Imagine” by John Lennon.

I love the red tie on Cook. This is beautiful. This is the kind of record he should make. I always admire the contestants who choose to perform a song they haven’t sung during the season yet. I think it’s always braver than revisiting something we’ve heard. (Maybe Simon doesn’t want David Cook to win, so he’ll actually be successful.)

(For the record, my mother has been voting for Cook about every 20 seconds all hour.)

I mean, it’s beautiful again, Archuleta, but we’ve heard it before. Almost exactly the same way. I think he’ll win anyway. I guess I’m putting it on the record. I’ll be back tomorrow to write about the finale. Stay tuned!

AI Top 3

First of all, I can’t QUITE believe we’re only a week from the finale. It’s a little hard to imagine. Secondly, I don’t even really want to put it out into the cosmos, but I feel like everyone stating so emphatically that Syesha doesn’t have a chance to crack the top 2 is a little presumptuous, and I believe anything can happen tonight. Especially since it’s judge’s choice, producer’s choice, and contestants’ choice tonight. We lost Elliott on this night two seasons ago and Melinda on this night last year, and they were, arguably, the best singers of their seasons. David Cook, I’m praying for you. (And how HOTT would it be if he busted out with Rhianna’s Umbrella? That’s what Entertainment Weekly thinks he should sing tonight; that or Hoobastank’s The Reason. They also suggest Syesha sing En Vogue, Sade, or DeeLite, and that Archuleta sing Coldplay or Jackie Wilson.)

David Archuleta is up first with “And So It Goes” by Billy Joel, chosen by Paula. She pronounced “timbre” right. I’m impressed. This is Archuleta as we all loved him initially. Simple and lovely, even though I agree with Simon that it was a bit predictable. Everyone is wondering how he’ll do now that his dad has been banned from helping him backstage. I hope he won’t flounder.

Syesha is up next with Randy’s choice, “If I Ain’t Got You” by Alicia Keys. Her dress is almost fabulous, but I still don’t like her. My conclusion is I think she’s dumb.

David Cook gets Simon’s choice! Yay! He’s singing Roberta Flack’s “The First Time Ever I Saw Your Face.” Whoa. Where did this RANGE come from? Holy moly! Oh my god, Simon was totally just clapping in the audience! When do we ever see him do ANYTHING engaging as a viewer? And now we know that he’ll get the mom vote.

Archuleta’s choice is Chris Brown’s “With You.” Good for him for singing something modern! They better call him on forgetting that lyric. I think it’s interesting that he’s pulling out something SO contemporary after establishing himself as sort of classics singer. I’m not buying it. (HOW COME NO ONE EVER CALLS HIM ON FORGETTING THE LYRIC?!) It looks like he had fun, at least.

Syesha’s choice is singing Peggy Lee’s “Fever.” Good choice! (Why is she suddenly speaking with a Southern accent?) She’s certainly fighting to stay tonight, isn’t she? I think this may be her best performance all season. That was certainly better than Archuleta’s last song. I disagree with the judges!

Cook’s choice is “Dare You to Move” by Switchfoot, whatever that means. Um. I’m not sure about that. It felt a little abrupt and awkward.

Archuleta’s up again with Jon Fogelberg’s “Longer.” Dude, unbutton your shirt. Relax. Cheesy but fine. I wonder how the producers make these choices.

Syesha’s final song is “Hit Me Up” by Gia Farrell. Horrible. But I like her top. Paula doesn’t think she did enough to get to the finals. And I guess it’s too bad that the producers gave her such a crap song. They end up wielding a lot of power at the end of the season, don’t they?

Cook’s last with Aerosmith’s “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing.” I wonder how he feels about singing this song, honestly. At least he was able to leave it all on the stage with that one.

Favorite of the Night: David Cook
On the Way Out: Syesha? (OH GOD, I HATE TO EVEN SAY IT, BUT COOK MIGHT GO HOME! OH GOD, NO! I JUST DON’T KNOW! I HOPE IT’S SYESHA. OH GOD!)

AI Top 4

Is it just me or has the momentum gone down on this season of AI? Don’t get me wrong; I wasn’t a diehard Brooke fan, or even a diehard Michael Johns or Carly fan. But I can’t believe they’re all gone and we’re still stuck with Funny Faces Castro and Super-Ready-Actress Smile Mercado. Something is wrong with that, and it’s sort of taken the wind out of my everlovin’ AI sails.

(My secret is Mom skipped the DVR ahead so she could vote for David Cook before the time was up. Usually, we miss the window.)

He’s up first with “Hungry Like the Wolf.” Hott. Honestly, I don’t care about anyone in this stupid competition except him. I think it was just an “aight” song choice, but he sang pretty much perfectly on-pitch.

Syesha is wearing a fantastic sparkly dress. She’s singing “Proud Mary.” I knew it! As soon as they mentioned Ike in the montage, I knew she was going to sing this song. It’s very…how should I say…obvious of her. Others have done it better is about all I can think to write.

Jason is next with “I Shot the Sheriff.” Oh my God. He’s such a stoner. Hilarious. He’s feeling this, I can tell. This is the most animated we’ve ever seen him. The judges want Jason off; maybe they’ve heard that he’s “ready to go home.”

David Archuleta is singing “Stand by Me.” Lovely choice. He’s feeling this too. That was excellent. Back to true Archuleta form; I’ve missed him.

David Cook is back with “Baba O'Riley.” (I always thought that song was called "Bob O'Reilly.") I swear to God I fall a little bit in love with him every time he sings on this show. He’s a brilliant, brilliant musician, first and foremost, I think. So hot. I loved it.

Syesha is up once again with “A Change is Gonna Come.” I was almost moved by it. She certainly was. Well, she’s safe for another week, isn’t she?

Jason is up next with “Mr. Tamborine Man.” It ALMOST sounds like he flubbed that lyric on purpose, honestly. Jason’s not in the zone because Jason wants to go home. He’s overwhelmed by the 150 balloons that got sent to him when he was sick.

David Archuleta is last with “Love Me Tender.” I think he’s done the best this week with song choice, although that wasn’t a perfect performance by any means. The two Davids finale that is nearly inevitable will certainly be a battle of opposites, won’t it?

Favorite of the Night: David Cook
On the Way Out: Jason

AI Top 5

We’re getting down to the wire on this season; I can’t believe there are only five contestants left! Entertainment Weekly has a theory that the contestants that will be left standing will all play instruments, and that that’s part of the reason Mr. Johns and Ms. Smithson are no longer with us, although this article states a different theory for Carly’s elimination. In any case, time may officially be up for Ms. Mercado. (A girl can dream anyway.)

I’m not quivering with excitement about tonight’s mentor, but I had no idea Neil Diamond wrote “Red, Red Wine,” “Girl, You’ll Be a Woman,” and “I’m a Believer.” EW says Jason Castro should sing the first, David Cook the second, and David Archuleta the third. Just, please. No one sing “Sweet Caroline.” Please.

Who’s reeling about Carly? I’m not reeling. They’re singing TWO songs each tonight? Whoa.

Jason is up first and is playing a guitar. He’s singing “Forever in Blue Jeans” and “September Morn.” He forgot the words in rehearsal…oopsies. I like this first song. He seems confident tonight, which is refreshing. I can’t really watch his face when he sings though.

David Cook is up next and I adore that he flipped the switch on Ryan and asked him how he prepared for Neil Diamond week. He’s singing “I’m Alive” and “All I Really Need is You.” He gave Diamond goosebumps. Man, he’s such a star. He’s making “I’m Alive,” a ridiculously cheesy song, an absolute arena anthem, ready for radio.

Brooke is next and she’s playing guitar and piano, on “I’m a Believer” and “I Am, I Said,” respectively. She looks terrified and uncomfortable. It’s too bad “I’m a Believer” just makes me think of Shrek.

David Archuleta is singing “Sweet Caroline” and “America.” Oy. I can’t be objective about a 17-year-old singing “Sweet Caroline.” It pains me a little that he is at all.

Syesha is singing “Hello Again” and “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime.” I’m cringing and it’s not because she’s singing “Hello Again” badly.

[The votes this week are going to be wonky, I think. These judgments are weird, chaotic and not helping anybody. Also, the So You Think You Can Dance ads make me want Idol to be over. It’s such a better show.]

Jason’s up again with “September Morn.” I imagine it’s hard to make Neil Diamond songs NOT sound like karaoke. That was weak, but he is very cute.

Back to David Cook; this time with “All I Really Need.” His first three notes and he’s already blown everybody else out of the water. He better win this competition.

Brooke’s up again; this time with “I Am, I Said,” accompanying herself on piano. This is pretty; she’s so much more comfortable behind her piano. She’s able to make her performances feel much more intimate and personal. I think she might have just saved herself…

David Archuleta is now singing “America.” Sadly, his song choices have probably guaranteed him a spot on next week’s show, but if all of America was like me, he’d be voted off. He’s totally going to release this as a single one day soon though.

Syesha is back with “Thank the Lord for the Nighttime.” She’s having fun with this one, and I am also a fan of the clapping. But, Simon, she sang last! I always wonder if he’s saying that so that people WILL vote.

Favorite of the Night: David Cook
On the Way Out: Jason or Brooke; although, if EW’s theory is right, it’ll be Syesha.