Word of the Day, vol. XXI

Word of the Day: DRUGS

It’s funny how my final word of the day is drugs.

Especially because I didn’t have any idea what to write about aside from the really horrible story of this one time I got really paranoid and was sure the water I tried to drink was actually cranberry juice and then was super sick with food poisoning from Indian food I’d eaten earlier that day and spent the night with my head literally in the toilet and humming to calm my stomach and, then, thought I’d gone crazy and was never going to be sane again.

Yeah, it’s a good story but that was a bad night.

Then, I started getting into Weeds.

I’ve caught up just in time for the sixth season to start tonight.

Too bad I don’t have Showtime.

I am obsessed with this show.

Nancy Botwin is so tough and vulnerable and a mess.

And her sons are total messes.

And Mary-Louise Parker needs to win more awards. And so does Elizabeth Perkins. And Hunter Parrish is super hot. And I don’t understand how Justin Kirk has ridiculous chemistry with every single woman on that show. Cuz he seems kind of gay too.

And I don’t understand how the creator, Jenji Kohan, can write all those men so well, everyone from a 14-year-old who loses his virginity to an Asian prostitute endorsed by his uncle to the Mexican drug lord and all the guys in his posse.

And what kind of name is Jenji?

It’s a pretty amazing show.

And I think it’s warping my reality.

I went to McDonald’s tonight and was making wisecracks that sounded like they should be on the show. And it struck me that I was imagining that all the black guys in the place were savvy dealers, at the whim of a suburban housewife who is smarter and tougher than all of them.

It’s also about drugs.

Duh.

Nancy goes from being a widow dealing marijuana to make some cash to falling into drug/gun/sex trafficking in Mexico. And is trying to raise her sons and deal with a complicated love life at the same time.

But, mostly, it’s making me want to start wearing gold jewelry like Nancy’s.

Important Decisions Before a Graduation Party

me: i was gonna get a six-pack of corona
and a bottle of champagne but that will be awkward too carry
S: anything is going to be awkward to carry
cuz it'll be heavy and liquid filled
me: but a six pack is more awkward than another bottle of something
S: true
me: but i don't know what else to bring
maybe TWO bottles of champagne
hahahaha
S: yeah!
or maybe... champagne and orange juice?
what time is the thing?
me: 6
S: or champagne and a bottle of tequila?
me: i just won't drink the tequlia
but i can provide it for others
S: will other people drink it?
me: i dunno
S: tequila and limes
final answer
me: where does one get limes?
S: or corona
me: i'm going to one place
well corona is where i started!
but i can't carry it
with my overnight stuff and my purse
S: champagne and cookies!
brownies
pot brownies

Yes, because the average liquor store sells champagne, tequila, limes, brownie mix, eggs, oil, and marijuana.

UPDATE: Naturally, I purchased two bottles of Prosecco.

Drugs are Bad; Spring Cleaning is Good

I watch a lot of TV on my computer, but Hulu is often unsatisfactory. Either I'm all caught up on my weekly viewing or I don't have the energy or time to start watching and, subsequently, obsessively committing to a new show...

So when Catt was here a couple weeks ago, we happened upon aetv.com, where there are full episodes of both Hoarders and Intervention.

These are two of the craziest, most infuriating, intense shows on TV.

While watching, I experience very satisfying Schadenfreude as well as sadness and sympathy and serious pity for the people and families struggling with either crippling compulsive hoarding (seriously, the most horrible episode I've seen involved an older woman who had over a hundred cats in her house, some of whom had died and whose bodies were rotting, unbeknownst to her) or horrific addiction/self-destructive behavior (again, the most intense episode I've seen involved a cutter and was very graphic and very gratifying...when she got healthy and stayed away from her unsupportive parents).

The families that are depicted are fractured and struggling and hoping to save their mentally ill and/or addicted relatives.

I cry every episode. Or scream at the television. Or thank my lucky stars I only have so much stuff and space to put it in.

It's a pretty--pardon the pun--addictive show.

But mostly, it's helping me be able to identify junkies on the train.

This morning, this guy was in the subway car with me. Suddenly standing up, nearly toppling over, sitting down again, barely keeping his eyes open, falling over in his seat and jerking awake, strangely sipping Gatorade from one bottle and spitting it into another Gatorade bottle.

And, I thought...he's high on heroin.

Thanks, A&E.