Overheard at Work, vol. VII

Kid with lateral lisp, during a theatre game, where he was playing "confused": I don't get it.
Me: What don't you get?
Kid (thinking off the top of his head, and admirably, at that): Why do people wear socks on V Day?

"He's a cute little Guinea!"--our Director of Support Services, being a (slightly racist) old-town girl about the man who shovels our parking lot. He's Italian.

"Men are better."--the Music Coordinator, assuring a teen that he need not worry about getting into a relationship. And, no, he's not gay.

Drummer Kid: I'm starvin' Marvin.
Music Coordinator: Are you also single and ready to mingle?
Kid: Yeah.
MC: Do you find yourself in a perpetual state of singlehood?
Me: What's wrong with that? I find myself in a perpetual state of singlehood.
MC: No, that's the way to go. Why would you bring chicken to the buffet?

"I know how to make decisions! Chicken or fried rice?! Chicken!"--an 11-year-old, asserting her ability to vote.

"Don't go crazy this weekend! You look like you go crazy on the weekends."--the Fitness Program Assistant, giving me advice, as I left tonight. I thought it was the funniest thing.

Little does he know I'll spend tomorrow in my bed, watching Bones on Netflix and doing my laundry.