Overheard at Work, vol. XCVIII

This was my first normal week back at the grind, after my week off and April vacation last week.

I have a couple weeks of special events ahead and then we'll zoom through til the end of the year.

Shocking.

Me, to 7-year-old girl: You're so cute. What if I ate your face?
Girl: What if I chopped off your head?

Teen girl, to her boyfriend: What are you gonna do to piss me off?
Me, to her boyfriend: You're already planning on pissing her off?
Boyfriend: That's because she is! It's called EQUALITY!

Me: I'm obsessed with these new keyboards.
Colleague: I know. They're so soft. It's like they have mad lotion on.

Me, to 7-year-old girl: Where is your family from?
Girl: Dominican Republic.
Me: But you were born here?
Girl: Yep.
Me, to 10-year-old boy: Where is your family from?
Boy: Is that any of your business?!