Overheard at Work, vol. XCVII

April was my month for craziness and travel. I've just returned from a weekend in Providence with my old college friend. Old meaning, I've known her for 12 years. Old meaning, we're so much older than when we met at 18 and 19 years old. It was amazing and easy and fun and deep and heartening to reconnect with her in person--we haven't been together in about three years and we haven't lived on the same coast in almost nine.

Now it's almost May and May will surely kick my ass, but I am staying put for the next month or so, so hopefully it will all go just as planned.

13-year-old, upon my arrival back at work: You look lazy.

Colleague A to a 7-year-old boy: Your hair is so soft. I want to cut it off and put it in a bear.

Me, to 13-year-old boy: What are you doing in here anyway?
Boy: Being a black boy.
Me: What does that mean?
Boy: Being lazy.

Me, to a group of teens arguing about age: I'm older than all of you.
Teen boy: I'm older than you.
Me: How old are you?
Boy: 65.

Colleague B, referring to a burrito: The things I'm about to do to this. You might not want to watch.