i have a question...

Saturday, August 31, 2013

Overheard at Disneyworld

First of all, let me put this trip in perspective.

124 kids ages 10-16 from several agencies in the Boston area were accompanied by 26 staff, for a five day, four night trip to Orlando, Florida.

We hit 5 amusement parks in 5 days:
After a long morning of travel, including my own wake up call at 230 AM, Monday, it was Hollywood Studios; Tuesday, Universal Studios Islands of Adventure; Wednesday, Blizzard Beach; Thursday, Magic Kingdom; Friday, Universal Studios, followed by shuttling to dinner and then the airport for a 9 PM flight. I got home at 245 AM.

Hours were typically 7 AM wake-up, breakfast at the hotel buffet, 10-5 at the park, dinner at the hotel, one evening activity (pool party or arcade), and lights out at 10 PM.

I was in charge of seven teens. And that was plenty!

Honestly, it was a week of high highs and low lows. I struggled daily between not wanting to cramp my kids' style and trying to wield some control. I also didn't want to spend days at these amusement parks ALONE, despite my kids' desire for independence.

By the second day, we'd worked out a little bit of a rhythm. We'd eat breakfast together, ride on the shuttle separately, I'd spend the first half of the day navigating the parks with them and hitting rides I wanted to see, then I'd usher them to a late lunch, and let them roam free until meeting time. This was only mildly successful, in terms of them not totally stomping all over my trust that they'd behave appropriately...

For the record, I rode about 2/3 of the rides the kids did, my favorites being Tower of Terror (which we rode twice) at Hollywood Studios, Rip Saw Falls at Islands of Adventure, Summit Plummet and Team Boat Springs at Blizzard Beach, Space Mountain (which I can't believe I had never been on) at Magic Kingdom, and Transformers 3D and Revenge of the Mummy at Universal Studios.

Aside from that, I spent a fair amount of the days reading a book in air conditioning and venting to my friends via text messaging. I also saw a parade and show at Magic Kingdom that made me cry, got a little bit of a tan, avoided food poisoning, met some cool kids and staff, and managed (despite their best efforts all week to drive me insane) to get all seven of the kids home safe last night.

I think I need this entire three-day weekend to catch up on sleep and healthy eating and sitting in silence, which I've been without for days.

But, without further ado, here are some quotes from the week:

Me, at 4 AM on Monday morning, at the drop-off point: We should take a picture!
14-year-old girl A: You can't see me in the dark!

14-year-old girl B, a propos of nothing: Sometimes when I drop the soap in the shower, I pretend I'm in jail...

14-year-old girl B, while we waited on a line for a ride: I want to bring my kids here. When they're younger than me. I want them to believe it.

14-year-old girl B: Wait, what does Versace mean?

Teen: Oh. My. Pho.

Me, losing my patience (the well of which was far deeper than I even knew), when one of the kids (not even part of my group) said something to the effect of "I told you so!" one too many times: Everyone always has to be right all the time. It's so annoying.
14-year-old boy: I'm never right! I try to suck as much out of those moments as possible!

Girl, trying to get a chaperone's attention, though she didn't really know his name: Brian! Brandon! Deafdon!

During our last night in the hotel, the girls called their mothers to test them by saying that one of the boys on the trip liked them. Here are highlights from those conversations:

14-year-old girl A: What if he tries to kiss me?
Mom A: Tell him, "BACK UP, BUDDY! To the left! To the left!"

14-year-old girl B: My mom told me "Don't let your guard down. Don't settle for anyone."
14-year-old girl A: Usually my mom tells me something like that. Tonight, she told me something different cuz I bet she's drunk!

And at the airport, last night:
Boy: Yermama's so hairy, when you were born, you got rug burn.

Boy, after laughing hysterically: I think I moved my liver!

The End.

Friday, August 23, 2013

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXXI

Guys. That was a crazy week.

Honestly, it's been a crazy month, full of coordinating phone interviews and demos and reference calls and trips to Florida and Friday events and special events and field trips.

Fewf.

But I MADE IT!

And at 3 AM on Monday morning, I will be on my way to Brighton to pick up 7 teenagers for their first trip to Disney World and, for two, their first trip on a plane.

12-year-old boy, to a woman about to run a demo lesson and try to get a job: Could you do that over there? I'm doing something here.

During a conversation about whether or not the club is haunted, two young ladies told me a story of a young boy jumping out at them in the hallway.
Me: But he's 7 years old!
12-year-old: So? 7 year olds can have demons!

11-year-old, singing to herself as she took tiles out of a Bananagrams bag: Y is for you to stay out my bizness. M is for I'm so mean!

Me, amused, to a 16-year-old boy exclaiming as we listened to a recording: You're so excited!
Boy: I love music!

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXX

Since last week was short due to my vacation and this week I was swamped with administrative work--we're in the middle of a big hiring process--I only have a few quotes.

One more week of summer programming before I head to Disney World with seven teenagers and, when I return, we will be prepping for fall programming.

That. Is. Bananas.

17-year-old boy, to me, after incorrectly identifying me when I snuck up behind him and covered his eyes: You smell like a Brazilian.

12-year-old girl: Imagine if a nun said to another nun, "What are you wearing tomorrow?"

Me: What are you going to do with your paycheck?
17-year-old boy: Strip club. All ones.

12-year-old girl: Ow! My blood pressure!...Who's got gas? Whoever has gas, go to the gas station!

Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXIX

It's been a harrowing couple weeks at work. Last week nearly broke my resolve. This week was just three days for me, as I'm about to have a 5-day weekend and spend some time lounging by a waterfall, if all goes well.

Hopefully, I return to Boston rejuvenated and ready for the rest of the summer (which is FLYING by).

9-year-old girl, during an intense card game noticing a 3, then a 4, then a 3 being put down: That was a sandwich!
Me: YOU'RE a sandwich!
Girl: How is that an insult?

8-year-old girl, in a singsong voice: Elderly! You're elderly!
Colleague: YOU'RE elderly! How DARE you?

Me, to a 13-year-old girl with an identical twin: How are we going to tell you two apart when your braces come off?
Girl: I'll be the one with pretty teeth.

16-year-old boy, during an intense game of Charades: I thought the clue "Gran Torino" was Quentin Tarantino!

9-year-old girl, during an intense game of Connect 4, when somebody had won but nobody called it out: We were thinking about more complicated theories so we didn't notice.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Overheard at Work, vol. LXXVIII

Oy, what a week. So glad that it's Friday and that I have no plans tomorrow. I intend on doing very little. Need a serious recharge day. And I get a little vacation at the end of next week, which I am very much ready for and looking forward to!

7-year-old girl: A choreographer is someone who digs up dinosaur bones.

11-year-old girl to my newly engaged coworker: You're married?
Coworker: No, I'm engaged.
Girl: So, you like him?

8-year-old girl's clue for someone to act out in Charades: Twilight braken a bone
(She meant Twilight: Breaking Dawn.)

12-year-old boy, to my insistence he spit out his gum: Gum is the only thing that's cool to me though!

Coworker, to 17-year-old boy: What's a synonym?
Boy: Synonym toast crunch!

17-year-old boy: I had to get my HPV shot. That thing hurts! I thought it was only for girls!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Texts on a Train

En route to Providence yesterday, S and I exchanged this correspondence:

A: I'm due in at 11:10.

S: Awesome.

A: I was thinking about it last night. I rated the outfit I packed for dinner on a scale from casual to fancy not on a fancy scale...

S: I don't know what you mean. But it doesn't really matter now! With this weather, I'll probably just stay in what I'm wearing anyway.

A: OK.
Like. On my rating of 5, 1 was jeans and a tshirt and 10 was cocktail attire.

S: I think a 1 on the fancy scale would be super casual, right?

A: As opposed to 1 being a denim skirt and a tank and 10 being a ball gown.
Hahahahahaha. I crack myself up.

S: Hahahahahahaha
This is hilarious. Yeah my 1 was like a dirty skirt with a hole in it. And my 10 was a ball gown.

A: See? Our scales are askew.
I packed a simple black skirt and a detailed tank.

S: I brought a simple shirt and a detailed skirt! We're made for each other.

A: Exactly
On the train! And there is a man on it making hacking sounds unlike anything I've ever heard.

S: Eeeeew. Public transportation is the worst.

A: It sounds like he's dying.

S: Just saw a guy eat his booger.

A: OMG. Horrible.

S: Just drove by a big pink building. Cheaters Gentleman's Club.

A: Classy. We should check it out, find me a date.

Friday, July 12, 2013

Overheard at Work, LXXVII, and other things

It's been SO LONG!

I turned 30 in a grand two-day long fete, including a massage, cocktails, dinner, tarot card reading, and brunch.

Work was closed to kids the week after my birthday while we prepared for summer programming.

Then we had a three-day week, followed by a four-day weekend.

And I've just survived my first full week of summer programming. It's been a big adjustment, waking up 4 days a week at 6:45 AM, being in direct service most of the afternoons, supervising our weekly Friday events...

I'm headed to Providence for the weekend tomorrow and I hope it feels a little like a mini-vacation!

16-year-old, singing "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls: I wanna...I wanna...I wanna...I want you to shut up so I can go to sleep!

Colleague A: As I get older, I feel like I'm losing my touch with children.
Colleague B: I feel like I'm losing my touch with adults!

Me, to teen running in the hall: Why are you running?
Teen's friend: Why AREN'T you running?

9-year-old girl, commenting on a photo I took of the group making an R with their bodies: That looks like a couple of thongs.

Me, to a 16-year-old boy: Have fun!
Teen: Don't tell me what to do!

12-year-old girl, to my coworker: I want to know what your future husband looks like. Is he tall? Broad? Good stamina?

She had lots of other questions this week, including, "What's a diphthong?" and this exchange:
Her: I have a question. I don't know if it's appropriate.
Me: OK...
Her: What's a cougar?
Me: ...Why do you ask?
Her: I was watching this talk show and there were like 55-year-old women and 21-year-old men.
Me: And what does that mean?
Her: They were dating?
Me: Uh huh.
Her: So, which one's the cougar?
Me: The woman.

Just another day on the job!