Overheard at Work, vol. XCIV

Well these days are just flying by, aren't they?

This week featured a couple late night work days, one to take a group of teens to see a production of A Midsummer Night's Dream, which was lovely, and tonight, after Women's History Family Night, where I ran a super fun activity testing the kids' knowledge of important women in history and culture.

Colleague A, more beleaguered than I've ever been: It's too much work to eat.

Colleague B, hoping to avoid my (joke) plan to "drag him up" in honor of Women's History Month: I don't like things being done to me.

Me: Please, go sit with your peeps.
10-year-old boy: You can't say peeps.
Me: I can't?
Boy: No, that's a hood word.
Me: How do you know I'm not from the hood?
Boy: I know you're not from the hood.
Me: You have no idea where I'm from.
Boy: I know you're not from the hood. Look at you.
Me: Because I'm white, I can't be from the hood?
Boy: No! I'm not racist!
Me: You don't know where I'm from.
Boy: I know where you're from. You're from New Hampshire.
And then,
12-year-old boy: We know you're not from the hood because you're a good person.

After, I gave him an impassioned monologue about how people like him and his diverse group of friends should be seeing theatre, not just the old white people we were surrounded by at the play:
16-year-old boy: You're so black.
Me: I AM?
Boy: You just made it onto the top 5 list of blackest white people.
Me: Who else is on that list?
Boy: Justin Timberlake. Ellen DeGeneres. Donald Trump. (That was a joke.)
Me: OK. Who else?
Boy: Channing Tatum. Macklmore. Seth Rogen. Jonah Hill.
(My conclusion, after we talked about it was that I'm "black" because I'm down-to-earth and most white people are "hoity toity." Oof.)

Colleague C, getting ready to go out with other colleagues: Lady's out of town!
Me: Shit's gonna go down!...I just made a poem!...about cheating.