Overheard at Work, LIV

It was a very busy week at work, so I only had one quote, until this afternoon, when I was visited by a couple very hilarious kids, so I collected many more quotes at the last minute today.

"I need some professional help!"--an eight-year-old during homework time.

All of the following quotes are from this afternoon:

Colleague: What's your favorite color?
8-year-old: TARTAR SAUCE!

And these last few quotes are all from one of my favorite kids, an 11-year-old who has been in my programming for a year, works super hard at school, and lives with her strict Haitian parents who overextend her and pressure her to do better than her best. She is amazing.

Plus, we have the same birthday.

"You do random things. I never know when to expect you."--to me, after I showed her the food in my mouth.

"You should think about getting married."--to me. (Grumblegrumble.)

Me: [about my colleague] Her hands and feet are really big! You should go put your hand up against hers.
11-year-old: Are they soft or cold?
Me: Those aren't opposites!
11-year-old: No. I meant what I said.

And, as she left, "We should have a sleepover. We could talk about plastic waste. And recycling."

I love her so much.

Overheard at Work, vol. LIII

Just made it through the first week of our full fall program.

It went relatively smoothly, actually, and I'm surprised at my adaptability to the after-school schedule, after working early mornings all summer. It's nice to have my mornings back.

Here are some quotes gathered from the past two weeks, now that our kids are back:

"I promise maybe I'll come."--a 4th grader's hedgy response to my request she come to my program. (She didn't.)

16-year-old: Annie. Guess how many girls I kissed at school today.
Me: Zero.
Him: Three.

16-year-old: I want to be like Charlotte but have Samantha's career.

During my drama program, in which I tasked the kids with presenting fairytales in just 60 seconds, they were getting caught up in costumes and props. One team was presenting Rapunzel and suddenly they were covered in scarves and hats.
Me: Why would Mother Gothel wear a hat?
11-year-old: Because she's ghetto.

And as I was leaving this evening, this happened:
16-year-old: Annie, do you know who Nas is?
Me: Yes! (racking my brain) Oh, he was married to Kelis, right?
Him: Yes! She doesn't know who he is. (to the intern next to him)
Me: Now wait a minute. Don't be surprised because I'm a white girl that I know about rap.
Him: No! Everyone should know who he is. It goes: Jesus, God, Biggie, Nas.

To My Cousin's Baby, on her Second Birthday

Dear E.W.E.,

Two years ago today, you were on your way into this big, crazy, challenging world.

This year has gone by in a blur.

It feels like yesterday that I was carefully placing balloons in your house while you took a nap before your first birthday party.

The biggest change this year has been in your speech. You use your words (FULL SENTENCES!) now to express your joy, pain, frustration, fear, and anger.

Just this evening, your mom and I were chatting on the street. You were wearing your bright yellow chicken helmet, after having scootered all the way to JP Seafood and back from dinner! After a while, your mom scooped you up, but she and I kept chatting.

Finally, having had enough, you said, very clearly, "I want to go home."

And off you went. To take a bath, get ready for bed, and sleep through the time of day you were born.

You'll wake up a 2-year-old!

A big, boisterous, babbling 2-year-old.

This year, you have stepped solidly into your fearlessness.

You LOVE being upside down, and going down slides, waterslides, and even on amusement park rides!

I will never forget how, when you were just barely one, your mom and my mom visited me at work. I gave you all a tour of the club and then we stopped in the gym to chat with my coworker there. Your mom put you down and you walked right onto the basketball court, unafraid of the big teenage boys playing there, determined to grab a basketball.

You stopped the boys in their tracks.

And I know that was just the beginning.

Happy birthday. I love you.

Love,
Auntie Pretzel