I am a Pop Culture Genius, vol. XVII: a Very Special Music Video Edition

For your information, this is all Netflix's fault.

I discovered that Felicity is on Instant Watch.

This is a show that I wasn't only devoted to while it was actually airing (it was really a one-two punch with Dawson's Creek) but that I became obsessed with again during the summer before I moved to New York, when S and I would watch it at her parents' house every afternoon.

So, yesterday, I watched a couple episodes, and then did some research on Keri Russell.

Turns out, she was in the Bon Jovi music video for their song "Always," which was a little factoid I did not recall.

Let's investigate.



Wait.

What?

I do not remember that video being like that at all.

Keri Russell, Carla Gugino, that guy with the feminine jawline and broken nose, AND Colin from 90210??

So, let me get this straight.

The video opens in Mexico(?) where Girly Jawline is mooning over a photo. He fondly remembers taking dirty pictures and videos of his GF Carla Gugino, which her roommate, Felicity, discovers. Then, he makes bedroom eyes at FELICITY and Carla discovers them making their own homemade porn. (And, you KNOW that Felicity is wearing a green push-up bra because that girl's boobies are TINY in real life.)

Carla is discovered, crying, in an alley by Colin, who whisks her away to his artist's loft and paints her shirtless.

But the painting only makes Carla miss Girly Jawline, so she CALLS him and invites him over to Colin's house, shows him the painting of her, and he throws audio-visual equipment around and stabs the painting to shreds, at which point, Carla is DUNZO!

She exits, crying, in her red lacy nighty and black bra.

And Girly Jawline BLOWS UP THE JOINT and is deported to Mexico?

But, wait! Is Carla THERE?

Alas, no, it is just Girly Jawline's fantasy.

Meanwhile, Jon Bon Jovi sings his little heart out showing off some SERIOUS heavage.

I bet all those actors are mortified that this exists (except for the jawline guy and Colin--they haven't been doing much of note lately), but I think it exemplifies precisely everything that is important to understand about 1994.

Overheard at Work, vol. XXI

During acting class, in which the kids were tasked with presenting "as ifs" for established scenes, the girls were acting out a scene on an airplane during which a customer needs peanuts and tea from her British flight attendant: "Now, do the scene as if you are at a circus party with hot dudes with no shirts."

The rest of the quotes came last night, during our Halloween Family Night.

This is what I was wearing: Old Chuck Taylor sneakers, two pairs of striped socks scrunched down, bright blue tights, a denim skirt and turquoise belt, a stretchy black long sleeve shirt tucked into my skirt (a la bodysuits), a bright red poncho, ONE blue circle earring, and my hair in a sideways ponytail with a gold scrunchy.

Exactly two young people figured out I was from the 80s.

Here were the other guesses:
Three votes for "schoolgirl,"
Two votes for Punky Brewster,
Two votes for Red Riding Hood,
One vote for Exercise Barbie,
and one vote for a Smurf.

Also, one kid just straight up asked what I would say if she said I looked ugly.

I am a Pop Culture Genius, vol. XVI

I don't really recall watching The Wonder Years when it was airing, although now that I kill time once in a while by watching it on Netflix, every episode seems familiar.

I don't know if that's because it's so ingrained in my generation's pop culture knowledge or because I actually watched the show from when I was 5 until I was 10 and I just don't have any super clear memories of those times.

In either case, it's a brand new experience to watch these episodes now. With my own experiences of puberty and struggles with my parents and figuring out dating. And my vague understanding of the 60's and 70's.

And my brain just exploded because, in one episode, Karen's boyfriend, Louis, is played by him.

IMDB informs me that this was only his second credit AND that, on the show, he is credited as "Jack Corbett."

BUT. THAT. IS. AIDAN!

Dude has made a long career out of kissing woman on the small screen.

And what lucky women they are.

Overheard at Work, vol. XX

Girl: Annie, your face is pink.
Me: Like I'm allergic? Am I hot?
Girl: No, it's nice. Like Santa Claus.--an exchange over homework with one of my favorite 11-year-olds. I proceeded to utterly fail at helping her with her math homework.

Me: Do you ladies go to dance class?
Girl: No, they go to gymnastics. I stay home, being lonely.

Girl: I just want you to know that I don't celebrate Halloween.
Me: That's OK.
Girl: Halloween is the Devil's holiday, and God hates it his whole life.
...errrr, OK...

Senior in HS: I like poetry.
This was after I helped him analyze ancient Chinese poems for an hour. Before the hour started, he said something along the lines of, "I hate this, this doesn't make any sense." The next day, he wrote incredibly poetic aphorisms and even taught me what aphorisms are.

"Get your funny on!"--an 11-year-old's encouraging words to his classmates in the 6th grade drama class I observed this week.

"Stupid and retarded/Oops, I farted."--a 12-year-old's HILARIOUS and inappropriate couplet, I heard just as I was leaving work yesterday.

Kids are so funny.

I am a Pop Culture Genius: vol. XV

I find Michael C. Hall strangely sexy, despite his Cro-Magnon brow.

He is a super awesome song-and-dance man, for those of you who didn't know.

And on Dexter he wears the hell out of both pastel polos and Henleys.

ANYWAY.

I got into Dexter during my unemployment and have been watching fairly loyally since then.

I knew the big shocker at the end of season 4 before I watched it. Was as bored as everyone else with Julia Stiles' performance last season. And, so far, am satisfied with this season.

Last night's episode featured Tobey from Dawson's Creek.

On Dawson's Creek, he played Jack McPhee's abrasive boyfriend. The one he shared network television kisses with.

On Dexter, he played the random victim of creepy Colin Hanks and creepier Edward James Olmos's Doomsday Killers, whose (SPOILER) head gets chopped off and put on mannequin bodies sent through the city on horses.

I suppose a man's got to pay the bills.

Overheard at Work, vol. XIX

This is my attempt to get back in the groove.

My job is still SUPER AWESOME, but let's just say the honeymoon is over.

Sometimes it's draining and frustrating and hard.

And then funny things happen and I realize I'm getting paid to help kids with homework and play Mancala.

"She may be small! But she's got a big brain!"--a 9-year-old girl about a friend she was doing homework with.

Me: Are you being rude?
Kid: No. What?
Me: I hear a disrespectful tone. You're all attitude-y.
(Pause)
Kid: I always sound like that.

Late yesterday, my lateral lisp kid stopped me on the stairs because he wanted to be interviewed to be a Peer Leader. Our Peer Leaders are teens who get hired as Junior Staff to help around the building. He is eight. But I agreed to help my colleague give him an interview. It went something like this. (Keep in mind that all his s's are sh's):

Us: Tell us about yourself.
Him: I like swimming, ship rides, and snowboarding. I'm a video gamer.
Us: What are your strengths?
Him: Technology. Confidence and strength.
Us: What would you like to be better at?
Him: Technology. I don't know everything.
Us: When is a time you have had to solve a problem?
Him: My baby cousin raised my hand once and my teacher yelled at me.
Us: What did you learn from that?
Him: Discipline.
Us: Where would you like to work?
Him: In the tech lab, gamesroom, or music room.
Us: What do you think it would be like to work with older kids?
Him: I think it would be great for me.
Us: Why?
Him: Meeting new people is fun.

I'd totally hire him. That was honestly a better, more thoughtful interview than some of the teen ones.

Dude.

I AM SO SORRY IT HAS BEEN SO LONG SINCE I POSTED LAST.

LOTS OF THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING, BUT MOSTLY

1. I GOT THE FLU and
2. MY HARD DRIVE CRASHED.

FIVE DAYS IN BED SOLVED THE FIRST PROBLEM, AND BEST BUY SAVED ALL MY SHIT AND NOW I AM RECONNECTED TO THE WORLD. SO THAT SOLVES THE SECOND PROBLEM.

I'M BACK NOW.

AND WRITING IN ALL CAPS BECAUSE I MISSED YOU SO!

I will try to be better about posting regularly. I think it keeps me sane.