Alice in Wonderland, vol. VI

We open tomorrow. Our final tech dress rehearsal is tonight. We have a preview audience coming this evening.

I actually slept past 8 today. This must mean I believe we're ready. (I think we just might be.)

This is also the inevitable time during a production when the director has to let it go. Mistakes will be made--probably the same ones that have been made for weeks--and that's just how it's going to go. The actors need to be prepared for things to go wrong and need to work through those moments alone. It's up to them now. And that's always a relief to me, honestly.

It's amazing how many TINY, TINY details can be worked out in just 5 days of technical rehearsals. AMAZING. I mean, I made decisions this week about things like how many sides of a box need to be painted, what color lipstick needs to be worn, where each set piece needs to go and what color spike tape is needed to mark them, how many seconds of prelude music need to play before the first entrance, which crew member needs to help a large set piece get onstage and on what word. I forget how many hundreds of decisions need to be made, and how many ways a show can go, if you're not organized and if you don't have a clear vision and if you can't make decisions. It's astounding. No wonder I stopped sleeping this week.

Aside from rumors of some backstage bossiness and negative attitudes, things seem to be running pretty smoothly among the kids. They look fantastic, the show sounds great, and I'm pretty confident there's fun being had.

I realized this weekend that the next thing I need to do is start being proud of MYSELF and the work I'VE done. I find it very easy to pass the credit on to others: my co-director, my designers, the actors themselves. And I need to reclaim some of it, even just for myself. I built this show too.