Holy F, See You in June

This week at work was insane. I can't even really tell you how, except that I went from grantor site visits to partnership meetings to covering core areas to finding out I'd have to cover field trips in two days that felt like ten.

We are gearing up for our annual event, and I am still working Saturdays.

All to say that I'll pretty much be zooming through the next eight weeks until the end of June, when I'll stop working my Saturday job, have gotten through the event, and will be able to breathe with a 9:30 to 5:30 schedule over the summer.

Not to mention that my roommates and I are trying to find an apartment for August.

I covered a field trip today that was actually kind of fun and easy, and I have some quotes at work from the week, but my favorite came today, courtesy of a very unique 17-year-old boy.

Kid: I am so excited to have bunk beds next year!
Me: You are EXCITED to have BUNK BEDS?
Kid: Yes, there will be so much room for activities!
Me: ...What KIND of ACTIVITIES?
Kid: [without missing a beat] Like karate! And board games!

I died.

Overheard at Work, vol. XII

I decided, while watching the 100th episode of 30 Rock this week, that my job is kind of like an episode of the show: so many hilarious and absurd things happen in such a short amount of time that, by the end of the day, it's really hard to distinguish any of them...

"Excuse me! Can I get a guitar in my size?"--a 10-year-old girl beginning a week of diva-like demands. No, we do not have small guitars just for you.

"You're a Celebrity Incarceration Expert!"--a teen, after I got all 24 questions right in the "Celebrity Mugshot" on sporcle.com. (You're welcome.)

"You made Skittles juice."--a 12-year-old, after looking through my phone photos. Yes, kid, that is exactly what that is.

Kid A: Which church do you go to? What kind of music did they play? Do you know this song? [Plays a blues riff on the keyboard]
Kid B: No, it was more like Kumbaya.

"You have to connect to your vagina."--a co-worker's friend diagnosing how we could all dance like another co-worker's friend, who seemed to disconnect her hips from her body, but in an amazing way. This is the best dance advice I've ever gotten.

Bi-Monthly Update?

Sorry for the radio...er...blog silence.

Here is what's been going on the last two weeks:

1. Day of previous post being just the beginning of the shittiest week I've had at work yet.

2. Boston spring taking its sweet time to get here. Today, it is 43 degrees out.

3. Me coming down with a bad cold that is STILL lingering.

4. My cousin having a baby boy on the same day that my mother celebrated her 60th birthday.

5. This past week at work being taken over by the annual singing competition we have with the kids, which went off yesterday with only a few catastrophes mid-show:

a. 12-year-old dropped out at the last minute, despite my best youth development convincing that she deserved to compete and would do great.

b. Grandmother of 10-year-old girl (whom we had cut in the 2nd round) sneak attacked me mid-show to complain that her granddaughter was a good singer and we only had 8 competitors anyway--could she perform?

c. Friends of 12-year-old girl in section A bumrushed the stage while I was making announcements, declaring that she was ready to sing now but only if she could sing with all of them. No.

6. Having a fancy dinner with an old friend while he was here on business and reminiscing about how things have changed and stayed the same.

7. An epic evening making Skittles vodka with the roommates, which we will be consuming tonight.

(Update: It is so tasty and strong. And looks really pretty in a glass mixed with 7-Up.)

I've barely had time at my desk to write quotes down, even though I'm amused by my kids and coworkers every day.

Also, there's a long, rambling, witty nostalgic post brewing in me and I just need to figure out time and space to write it.

Thanks for your patience!

Texts After a Shitty Monday

SGN: You'll have time to let out a big sigh of relief soon.

me: June??

SGN: Yes. What's the worst thing that can happen. You'll go thru exhaustion, get hospitalized, take some percoset? And try again. Lather, rinse, repeat, yo.

Overheard at Work, vol. XI

[At the staff meeting, as we discuss the staff fitness challenge and our personal goals.]
Colleague A: My personal goal is to lose 2 pounds.
Colleague B: I lose 5 pounds when I go to the bathroom!

Colleague 1: You told me I had the best computer here!
Colleague 2: You DID, until you downloaded all that porn!
1: That is MY personal business!

"You guys need to go to Dr. Phil!"--a teen's assessment of his friends' bickering relationship.

"Soccer and women."--a 12-year-old's assertion of what his priorities will be this year.

"I smiled so hard, I couldn't see my page."--a student in the leadership program, after she finished delivering her persuasive speech. I want some of whatever she's having.