Overheard at Work, vol. CXVI

Happy Spring! (It's snowing.)

Super tough week over. Another big one next week.

It was one of those weeks when I wasn't sure what day it was, I was just kind of putt-putting along...On Tuesday, I couldn't believe it wasn't at LEAST Wednesday.

8-year-old boy: I'm not Mexican. But I do love tacos!

Colleague A, during a Jeopardy round for the kids: Who invented Facebook?
6-year-old boy: The Internet!

13-year-old girl, inspecting my mac and cheese with tuna: Is that tuna? My mom makes it the exact same way. That's that Haitian in you!

14-year-old boy: I remember Tom Sawyer from Everybody Loves Raymond!

(Our nation's future, ladies and gentlemen.)

Overheard at Work, vol. CXV

Trudging along.

Spring is near.

16-year-old boy, upon viewing my Tempting Trail Mix from Trader Joe's, which has pictures of cherubs on the bag: You're eating demon nuts!!

Me: Where have you been?
7-year-old boy: Oh! I can't because I got beat upped.

Me: What if I just took a bite out of your head?
9-year-old boy: It would taste bad.
Me: What do you think it would taste like?
Boy: Doo doo.

Colleague A: I want a cookie.
Me: Do I want my pizza or my sandwich for lunch?
Colleague A: Um. You want a cookie.

15-year-old boy, upon seeing that I follow Ludacris on Instagram: That's crazy. You follow Ludacris and you don't follow me?
Me: Ludacris is a grown man who has been around for like 20 years.
Boy: I've been rapping since 6 months! I came out saying, Yo yo!

13-year-old girl, giggling at something I didn't catch: I'm not laughing! It's the hormones!

Overheard at Work, vol. CXIV

February vacation week and this past week both went smoothly, with no weather interruptions beyond a late start one day because of the cold.

I'm just counting down to Daylight Savings Time, now that I realized it's NEXT WEEKEND!

15-year-old boy: Your Blue Diamond Almonds are BOLD. They have no fear. They're just...out in the world.

Colleague A: My earlobes are stretched because I used to be a hood rat. Well. I'm still a hood rat.

10-year-old boy, commenting on a colleague's drawing: A warehouse? What kind of warehouse?
Me: ...your mom.

13-year-old girl, looking at the games on my phone: You like...Activia Crack?!

13-year-old girl: Why does she want you to wear a dress?
Me: Because she thinks I should be girlier.
Girl: That's better though! It's good to keep expectations low.

15-year-old girl: He said he's an OG. An old gangsta.

Me, to a 7-year-old girl: Your mind is fascinating. I wanna spend some time in there.
7-year-old girl: You are in my mind. In a gown. At a ball.

Overheard at Work, vol. CXIII

Plenty has been written and posted and shared about what an insane winter Boston is having this year.

The club has closed three weeks in a row on Monday and sometimes on Tuesday. The MBTA has closed for at least one day every week for the last month. Currently, my blinds are open, my space heater is blasting, and the wind outside is so crazy, I fear for my windows.

The latest report is that we have had over 95 inches of snow this season.

It's the SNOWPOCALYPSE.

For reals.

13 year old girl, as I began to join her in song: This ain't no High School Musical, why are you joining in?

Me, to 13 year old girl: Why are you so mean to me?
Girl: Cuz I love you so much!

Colleague A: Seth is gonna be a staff here.
Me: Except he hates kids.
Colleague A: ...Perfect.

Colleague B, referring to our staff: We're dirty motherf*ckers.

Overheard at Work, vol. CXII

It's been almost a month back in the grind since the holidays, which is kind of insane.

BASICALLY, it is ALREADY 2016!

8-year-old boy, explaining a confrontation with another boy:  He kicked me in my B-E-L-L-C-S.
(Not sure how he got there from B-A-L-L-S.)

Me: What are you doing?
Teenage boy: Anything with a heartbeat. JK.

I ran a teen acting program hour and we did an exercise where we interviewed each other, in pairs, and then condensed the information we gathered down to a haiku. Here is mine:

He sleeps, once dreaming
Of fighting fires. One day,
He'll study oceans.

13 year old girl, riffing on my habit of naming my 30s birthdays: 31-derful, 32-sday, 33-some...

Me, getting up, in a fit of activity: On to the next thing, on to the next thing, on to the next thing, on to the next thing, on to the next thing...
Coworker A: ...Annie broke.

Best of 2014

MOVIES

Drinking Buddies

Frozen

Short Term 12

Don Jon

First Position

The Normal Heart

Maleficent

Enough Said

Elaine Stritch: Shoot Me

Obvious Child

Wish I Was Here

Guardians of the Galaxy

The Fault in Our Stars

Much Ado About Nothing (2012)

Gone Girl

The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 1

BOOKS

blink by Malcolm Gladwell

Looking for Alaska by John Green

Like No Other by Una LaMarche

Not That Kind of Girl by Lena Dunham

The Opposite of Loneliness by Marina Keegan

Althea and Oliver by Cristina Moracho

I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

Yes Please by Amy Poehler

Everything I Never Told You by Celeste Ng

MUSIC

Love in the Future by John Legend, especially “All of Me”

“Do What U Want” by Lady Gaga featuring R. Kelly

 “Dark Horse” by Katy Perry

Nirvana and In the Lonely Hour by Sam Smith

 “Not a Bad Thing” by Justin Timberlake

1000 Forms of Fear by Sia

“Rip Tide” by Vance Joy

“Something I Need” by One Republic

“Rather Be” by Clean Bandit feat. Jess Glynne

 “Girls Chase Boys” by Ingrid Michaelson

Make a Move by Gavin Degraw

1989 by Taylor Swift

"Take Me to Church" by Hozier

Beyonce Platinum Edition

THEATER

Witness Uganda at American Repertory Theater

Finding Neverland at American Repertory Theater

Matlida at the Shubert Theatre

Here's to a happy and prosperous new year!

Thanks for reading!

Overheard at Work, vol. CXI

What can I say?

Two weeks from today, and I'll be heading into 12 days off.

TWELVE.

Needless to say, the holiday crunch is upon us and the countdown is on.

Colleague A: I am the queen of the back comb. I should be from New Jersey.

Me: What if I bit you?
7 year old boy: Then I would go and get a shark to bite your whole body.

7 year old boy: You've got comfortable hair. I could sleep on it.

Teen, to Colleague B, calling through a window, to where she was sitting alone: You in a meeting? You in a meeting with God or something?

15 year old girl: Where's my sister? Where are you keeping her?