Overheard at Work, vol. CXV

Trudging along.

Spring is near.

16-year-old boy, upon viewing my Tempting Trail Mix from Trader Joe's, which has pictures of cherubs on the bag: You're eating demon nuts!!

Me: Where have you been?
7-year-old boy: Oh! I can't because I got beat upped.

Me: What if I just took a bite out of your head?
9-year-old boy: It would taste bad.
Me: What do you think it would taste like?
Boy: Doo doo.

Colleague A: I want a cookie.
Me: Do I want my pizza or my sandwich for lunch?
Colleague A: Um. You want a cookie.

15-year-old boy, upon seeing that I follow Ludacris on Instagram: That's crazy. You follow Ludacris and you don't follow me?
Me: Ludacris is a grown man who has been around for like 20 years.
Boy: I've been rapping since 6 months! I came out saying, Yo yo!

13-year-old girl, giggling at something I didn't catch: I'm not laughing! It's the hormones!