Overheard at Work, vol. I

I survived my first week of work! Yay for me!

It's pretty great.

I haven't quite figured out how to eat during the day in a way that keeps me from coming home around 8 PM and feeling like sticking my head in the refrigerator and eating everything in sight.

And yet, I feel like I eat all day long. My hours are 11 AM to 7 PM, with about a 50 minute commute, so I eat a good breakfast, snack when I get to work, eat lunch around 2 PM, snack around 4 PM, and then come home starving.

Ahem.

Anyway, obviously being around kids all day and the equally hilarious staff I work with has provided some great comic relief, and, lucky you, I'm sharing it with all of you!

So, welcome to another incarnation of "Overheard."

"Who's your favorite singer? I know mine. Me!"--I'm glad this 11-year-old has so much confidence. May she never lose it.

"I do like a tight jean."--My supervisor, as we discussed the appropriate staff dress code.

The pre-teens I sat with one day used the word "ninja" instead of the n-word, referring to their friends, and called kissing "french fries." Kids are weird.

Kid: Can you please tell me why hiccups are mysterious?
Me: Do you know what causes hiccups?
Kid: No.
Me: That's why they're mysterious!
--an exchange during a Girls' Game of Apples to Apples

"My godbrother is 21. He wears his jeans all the way down to here, so we can still call him a teenager."--one of the girls I bonded with while observing the art class. Speaking truths.

"I don't have ribs. Boys don't."--this came out of the mouth of one of the oddest kids I've ever met. His answer to everything is "Ribs." From 6-7 every day, he makes paper airplanes in art and throws them around. He calls people "jerk" without knowing what it means, and he screams out, "Girls, do some squats" at random and inopportune times.

"And now we have a spicy, new neighbor."--the bookkeeper, referring to me, as he left for the week. He probably called me spicy because about three minutes after I met him I told him he had a fantastic head of hair.

"I did buy some really cute lingerie, so when we learn how to cut each other out of our clothes..."--a staff member, as she prepared for Wilderness Training, which is required for her to run the Girls' Summer Camp.

"I've got metaphors for days."--a teenaged boy, urging a staff member to help him with a rap he was writing.