This is what comes of
not really paying attention to what I’m eating and drinking plus working my ass
off despite weird stomach and headache issues.
After arriving in
Hyannis with H and E, I took a swim with E, we headed to a restaurant to watch
the Patriots play, and, it hit me like a freight train, I was suddenly keenly
aware that I was going to faint.
And then, I was on the
floor, sprawled out, sore neck, terrified and unaware of what had happened.
Dehydration and a
migraine were why I fainted, I found out later.
And the fall from a bar
stool gave me a good, solid concussion.
The EMTs who were
called to the scene put me in a neck brace and on a straight board. I rode in my
first ambulance ride, where they put heart monitors on my ankles and an IV in
the crook of my left arm that stayed there for 24 hours. I puked upon arrival
at the hospital and spent the next day with vomit in my hair. The lovely nurses
cleaned it out of my nose and ears as best they could, though, when I showered
back at the hotel when I got released, I did find some puke in my left ear.
The nausea I suffered
after hitting my head finally dissipated after about 3 hours in the ER and
right before they admitted me for observation overnight. Before they sent me
upstairs, I peed in a bedside “commode.”
Everyone in the Cape
Cod Hospital called the toilet the “commode.” It was very civilized.
Upon admittance, I was
given a bright yellow FALL RISK bracelet to wear and put on bed alarm, so every
time I had to get up to pee (which was very often), I had to ring for
supervision.
It’s amazing how
modesty goes out the window in a hospital.
I spent the night trying
to find a comfortable position on my back with my left arm out flat next to me
(to avoid the IV machine that honked every time I bent my arm). Finally, with
an aching lower back, I found the best position was almost sitting up with my
knees bent.
I saw the sun rise over
Cape Cod and spent the morning watching shitty TV, just like I wanted to.
The doctor took me for
a walk around the floor, inquiring as to what had been wrong with me before I
fainted. He could find nothing wrong with me (all tests came back negative and
clear except for an elevated white blood cell count which indicates I was
fighting something) and urged me to combat any nausea with a prescription, eat,
drink fluids, and deal with headache pain with caffeine, if needed.
I watched That 70s
Show, Saved by the Bell, Full House, Wipeout, and hours The Real Housewives of
Atlanta plus ate two hospital meals (if you can call them that) before I was
released mid-afternoon on Monday.
We returned to the
hotel (where H and E had stayed and played the night before) and I slept 11
hours Monday night. Returning to Boston before the snowstorm was uneventful and
I slept 12 hours on Tuesday night!
I finally woke up today
feeling good enough that I’ve had to force myself to take it easy. So I spent today watching The Millionaire
Matchmaker.
For future reference,
here is a brief list of Things My Concussion Has Taught Me:
-Eat when you’re hungry.
-Drink when you’re thirsty.
-If you feel like you
might faint, get low.
-Never underestimate
the simple pleasures of clean underwear, clean hair, a clean face, and freshly
brushed teeth.
-At the right moment, a
cup of ginger ale will seem as satisfying as the greatest feast.
-Bravo TV is pretty
much what the doctor ordered as you recover from a head injury.
-By gurney is the best
way to travel.
-Choose your In Case of
Emergency Contact Person wisely. In fact, I recommend mine.
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