[clever title] is 10 Years Old, and I Almost Forgot

I just gasped out loud, alone in my apartment, as my hot water for tea boiled and my egg cooked because I forgot today is my blogging anniversary.

10 years ago, I took my friend Melody's suggestion to post the essays I'd been writing. The ones I couldn't keep in my head, the ones that haunted me to be released, as I processed graduating from college and moving back to New York City, after 8 years away in California.

This blog has been a place of solace and hilarity, of logging memories and rants, of working through problems, and quoting friends and family.

I've been sorely neglecting it lately, as I manage orienting myself around another big move, life changes, new job, new relationships.

My resolution in 2017 is to WRITE MORE, and so I have been, a tiny bit every day.

I'm delving into subject matter I've shied away from before, grappling with big questions about identity and family and bad habits and hope. It's not exactly blog-appropriate or ready for public consumption yet, but it's feeling OK.

10 years ago, this blog  made me feel like a writer and was how I proved it to myself.

I still don't quite believe that I am one or that I could really be one, even though as I get older that feels more and more like what I really want.

Maybe in honor of [clever title]'s 10th anniversary, I'll try just a little harder to believe.

Best of 2016

2016: a strange and challenging year.

MOVIES

Mad Max: Fury Road

Room

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl

Amanda Knox

Justin Timberlake + the Tennessee Kids

Hamilton’s America

Arrival

Moana

Creed

Mr. Right

Lion

Moonlight

MUSIC

This is Acting by Sia

Anti by Rihanna

Confident by Demi Lovato

“Can’t Stop the Feeling” by Justin Timberlake 

V by Maroon 5

“Hold My Hand” by Jess Glynne 

“Ghost Town” by Adam Lambert 

“Unsteady” by X Ambassadors 

 “Toothbrush” by DNCE 

“My Heart is Open” by Maroon 5 ft. Gwen Stefani    

 “Brand New” by Ben Rector 

Joanne by Lady Gaga

Hamilton Mixtape

Coloring Book by Chance the Rapper

BOOKS

Everything Everything by Nicola Yoon

Hamilton: The Revolution by Lin-Manuel Miranda and Jeremy McCarter

Tell Me Three Things by Julie Buxbaum

You in Five Acts by Una LaMarche

In a Dark, Dark Wood by Ruth Ware

The Girl in Cabin 10 by Ruth Ware

THEATER

Father Comes Home from the Wars (Parts 1, 2, &3) at the Mark Taper Forum

Hedwig and the Angry Inch starring Darren Criss, at the Pantages

Here's to a new year full of hope and wonder.

It's Been a While

Hi.

I just counted, and it's been 5 1/2 months since my last post.

I'm working on other writing: a set of vignettes that may end up being a book, a play I haven't touched in months, and bringing new life to some old writings here.

My blog turns 10 in January and it might take another four months for me to figure out how to commemorate that milestone.

In the meantime, I hope you'll be patient as I look for inspiration in new places.

Work work work work work

Today, it's been five weeks since I started the new job.

I still feel very much in transition.

It helps to be close to family, to be able to run home after a hard or long day, wash off the day, change into my PJ's, and go drink wine with the cousins or have a dance party with the boys or binge-watch Orphan Black. And The Fall. And The Walking Dead.

It helps that I don't share a bathroom or kitchen or living room with anyone, so if I need a moment of quiet after my day, I get it in my apartment.

It helps that my team already seems to appreciate me and has been vocal about it.

I work both weekend days and my days off are Thursday and Friday. Twice a week, I have a ten-hour day.

I'm doing my very best to stay fed and hydrated. To take my hour long breaks that are due to me every day.

I'm doing my best not to get overwhelmed with the new information, new personality dynamics, new schedule, new culture. To imbue the department with my signature dose of positivity, support, and humor.

I'm doing my best to remember that whatever I may be frustrated with now is most likely temporary, as we all continue to settle into a new rhythm and straighten out our staffing structure.

I'm doing my best to get a good night's sleep each work night. At least 8 hours, if I can manage it.

But I woke up early this morning and had a realization.

I miss writing.

Overheard at Work: the Fantasy Edition

So I got a job.

After nearly 4 months of diligently looking and probably 50+ applications, the very first in-person interview I snagged is where I ended up getting hired.

I'll be a manager at a well-known museum in Los Angeles.

And my head is kind of spinning from the reality of the offer. I guess I really live in LA now.

My friend also pointed out this means my blog reports may be very different than they used to be.

For instance,

Colleague A: Do you have the gift baskets ready?
or
Me: No, 19 year old intern, you cannot be late again.
or
Colleague B: Um, that's really pushing the boundary of work-appropriate attire.
or
Colleague C: Mindy Kaling, this is Annie, our new manager.
or
Colleague D: I need the Van Gogh, NOW.
or
Me: Goddamn it, where's the free citrus vodka?
or
Me: Sir, you're going to have to leave. You are too drunk.
or
Me: Beyonce is on her way.

Stay tuned!

[clever title] Turns 9

For the New Year, I bought myself Start Where You Are: a Journal of Self-Exploration.

It feels important, in this time of unemployment and hermitage, to be reflective about where I am. I like the idea of not judging my place in life, even though it’s hard for me. I like the idea of taking stock from this day forward, of challenging myself to consider my dreams and ambitions and thoughts of where I want my life to be now and where I want it to go next.

***
Today, my blog is 9.

I don’t write in it as much as I would like.

It’s changed forms a bunch of times since I started.

These days, I have Twitter and Facebook and Instagram to put down my quick “thoughts of the day” or observations about pop culture.

I’m not working right now, so I’m not collecting hilarious quotes from my team or the kids I worked with.

I don’t even write personal essays that often anymore.

But, I’ve been doing this blogging thing since I was a 23 year old college grad, living in Brooklyn.

Now I’m an unemployed 32 year old, living in Los Angeles.

That’s about as far away from where I started as I can get.

So here I start again, from right where I am.

Things About Living Alone

1. When the trash is full, it's full of my trash! So I don't even really mind emptying it.
2. Same with the shower drain catcher.
3. I am exceedingly organized. Everything has its place and everything goes back in its place after being used.
4. My bed is for sleeping. When I was living in Boston, my bed was my office, my dining room, my den, and my bed. Now, I make it every morning and it stays beautifully made like a piece of art until I crawl into it at the end of the day.
5. My dining room is my desk. Partly this is because I don't yet have a desk chair (they are EXPENSIVE) and partly it's because my computer is my TV.
6. Having two nightstands and a queen sized bed makes me feel like an adult.
7. Also a living room rug.
8. And brand new towels.
9. And an entry way table for my keys and grocery bags and laundry money.
10. And a full fruit basket on my dining room table.
11. I listen to music constantly, especially when in the bathroom.
12. Sometimes I inadvertently make myself cry by listening to Disney songs in the shower. But that's OK because I LIVE ALONE.
13. Every unexpected noise is an intruder. Even when it's just the bagels falling off my shelf.
14. When I have a nightmare or am scared in the middle of the night, there are no people around to make me feel safer. (To be clear, this has happened exactly twice in over three months.)
15. I spent legitimately over an hour deciding which soap dispenser to get for my bathroom. It was a serious design decision. (I went with yellow and gray chevrons.)
16. For some reason, my laundry piles up way more since I've been living alone. I did four loads of laundry yesterday. I don't think I've ever done four loads of laundry in my entire life.
17. Decorating for the holidays consisted of hanging icicle lights in my living room and placing a tiny table top tree on my coffee table. And that was perfect.
18. I never thought I would but I have a toilet-seat-cover-down apartment.
19. Also, no shoes in the house.
20. One person makes far less trash, dirt, and dirty dishes than I ever expected.
21. Sometimes a girl just needs an extra phone charger for the living room.
22. I get most of my work done lying on the chaise portion of my couch.
23. Drinking is fun, even when you live alone.