Well, fall isn't kicking my ass yet. Next week's going to be a bit of a doozy, and there are a lot of things in motion at work, so I'm still sort of expecting the shit to hit the fan at some point soon.
In the meantime,
Me, to a 14 year old boy: You don't have a shirt on!
10 year old girl, reading from the cover of a magazine: "How to Spot and Drop a Gold Digger"
Me: Do you know what a gold digger is?
Girl: *motions picking her nose*
7 year old boy: Guess what! I'm in first grade!
Me: What are you doing in first grade right now?
Boy: Um. We have to be quiet. And do math.
Me, to my colleague, as I locked up the building: What did I forget?
Colleague A: The pool.
Me: Yes! Thank God you reminded me!
Colleague A: Yeah. Otherwise someone might sneak in and steal our pool.
Colleague B: What would your superpower be?
Colleague C: Probably being able to execute the robot dance flawlessly.
9 year old girl, to me: Are you married?
Girl: Do you have a boyfriend?
Girl: You're single?
Me: I'm single.
Girl: You don't want a boyfriend?
Me: No, I do.
Girl: So get a boyfriend!
Me: YOU get a boyfriend!
Girl: I have one. I'm married.
Good Housekeeping: Thick Thigh Battle Cry
1 week ago