i have a question...

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

I Wonder if Students Will Study This Show in History Classes

I've just completed watching the first season of Mad Men, on my trusty Chinese streaming channel.

This is a show of which I've seen most of the second season and have meant to go back and start from the beginning to get all caught up since around 2008.

That's when it started winning all kinds of awards.

I didn't quite know what to make of the show then, and, frankly, I still don't.

It's so weird.

It's like a strange, dark, history lesson, full of inexplicably long-sleeved flannel pajamas, liquor, cone bras, and hundreds of cigarettes.

Nobody is who he seems.

Everyone has sex on couches.

I find myself distracted by thoughts like:

Jon Hamm's hair steals every scene.

January Jones sure is gorgeous, but she's grating.

I can't figure out what I don't like about Vincent Kartheiser, who plays Pete. But he looks exactly like Wil Wheaton.

Hey, that's Annie from Community!

Too bad I knew Peggy got pregnant the first season. That would have been a real shock.

Wait, why don't they just use their cell phones?

What is it like for the actors to smoke all those fake cigarettes?

If they drank so much at work during that time, who did all the dishes?

And, I have always thought I was born in the wrong era.

If you put me in those cinched and tailored clothes and all that intense underwear, I would have looked exactly like this:

I swear.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

I Watched Another Award Show...So You Didn't Have To

Truth be told, part of me would rather be cleaning my apartment right now.

Especially since my shitty subletter left a huge mess in the house and the room that Naheil is taking over next week. Even though I offered to help her.


Bitch snuck out without so much as a word of farewell and left a room full of furniture and a mess. I’ve been cleaning my apartment all day, in the pursuit of a clean slate.

I counted it as my cardio for the day.

But! I’ll continue my efforts to scrub her out of the house tomorrow.

Tonight, I have more pressing things to do! Like share my impressions of the Primetime Emmys with all of you!

I know you’re excited.

I watched the last 10 minutes or so of the Red Carpet ceremony. Mostly, it was awkward, as per usual. And I was slightly ashamed to discover that I recognized both Sofia Vergara and Julie Bowen’s voices from down the hall.

Obviously, I watch too much TV.

I won’t even share how many entire series of shows I’ve seen since I got back from Connecticut less than three weeks ago…BUT...I am now addicted to Dexter and will soon be addicted to Mad Men, both of which are big and deserving contenders tonight.

Here are some highlights and lowlights of the evening.

That ridiculously amazing opening number. A genius cast of Glee actors, Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Kate Gosselin, Jon Hamm, Hurley!, Joel McHale, and more singing “Born to Run.” I might have gotten a chill and a tear in my eye. I am such a nerd.

I wanted NPH to win the award for Supporting Actor in a Comedy, but Eric Stonestreet from Modern Family winning also made me ridiculously happy because he totally deserves it, and he looked so genuinely dazed.

Jane Lynch winning Supporting Actress in a Comedy. Love her, love her, love her. She is so classy and smart and funny.

Ryan Murphy, shouting out for arts education during his acceptance speech for Directing in Comedy for his work on Glee.

George Clooney’s cameo in the Modern Family clip.

Edie Falco proclaiming herself not funny, as she accepted the award for Lead Actress in a Comedy Series.

Fallon as Elton John, Boys II Men, and Billie Joe Armstrong, honoring 24, Law & Order, and LOST.

Kyra Sedgwick making a super classy speech, accepting for Lead Actress in a Drama, and making Tina Fey hold her award.

Ricky Gervais, killing it, as always, while presenting and bringing the audience beers. Then, making the name Bucky Gunts sound as filthy as it should. Ridiculous.

George Clooney’s generous and witty speech, accepting the Bob Hope Humanitarian Award.

Julia Ormond, accepting for Supporting Actress in a Miniseries or Movie, for her work in Temple Grandin, announcing that she told her mother she had been “emminated for a Nommy.”

Claire Danes’s dress.

David Strathairn, honoring teachers, during his acceptance speech for Supporting Actor in a Miniseries or Movie for his work in Temple Grandin.

Claire Danes being so collected and eloquent, accepting an award for Lead Actress in a Miniseries or Movie for Temple Grandin.

Jimmy Fallon embracing Tom Selleck, “his dad.”

Matthew Weiner jumping right back into the speech that was interrupted, while accepting Best Drama Series, for Mad Men.

Modern Family winning Best Comedy Series. So great! I loved that Ed O’Neill was sneaking around to congratulate everyone.

Lauren Graham’s dress

Padma Lakshmi on the mic while the producer of Top Chef accepted the award.

The botched slap between Julianna Margulies and Jimmy Fallon, introducing the Drama category. I’m on the fence about the category intros, in general.

The producers cutting off Matthew Weiner’s acceptance speech for Writing in a Drama. Glad he got a chance to continue it…

I love her, but Tina Fey’s dress

January Jones mumbling Julia Ormond’s name. It’s pronounced OR-muhnd, lady.

Anna Paquin’s dress, panting, and pouting, during her stint as presenter

General thoughts:
I’m glad Dexter got one award, and Mad Men got two. Sad Friday Night Lights didn’t get anything!

Apparently, I need to get on the Breaking Bad wagon! What is WRONG with me?

And, finally, the question that I know you’re all dying to know the answer to: how many times did I cry?
The opening number, Stonestreet’s speech, Lynch’s speech, the Reality montage (don’t judge), BOTH commercials for this season of the Oprah show (feel free to judge this), the Drama montage, Julianna Margulies’s tribute to George Clooney, the Miniseries and Movies montage, Temple Grandin’s appearance, Claire Danes’s win (this one actually got tears to fall), Temple Grandin winning best Television Movie and the producer’s speech.

That’s a grand total of twelve.


Thursday, August 26, 2010

Love Letters to Inappropriately Aged Actors

I have a confession.

This will come as no shock to those who know me, but...I like younger dudes.

I think it started in college, when I was dating a 19-year-old freshman my senior year, as I was turning 22.

Since then I've had countless crushes on guys younger than me. I even liked an 18-year-old when I was turning 25--that was the biggest gap. It doesn't help that I've spent two summers on a camp staff where the average age is probably 24.

Since then, though, I've made a rule that if he can't get into a bar without a fake ID, I refuse to look at him twice. That is just too embarrassing.

Anyway...ahem...below are some of the dashing young lads that make my ever-aging heart beat a little faster, in counterpart to this post, and in order of degree of obsession.

Dear Taylor,
I dedicated a whole post to my newfound appreciation for you. I hope you read it. Even though I'm pretty sure you don't play on my team (I won't tell), and even though I think you're a terrible actor, I can't deny that your chemistry with Kristen Stewart on the second Twilight movie was pretty exciting.
And I know you know karate because your body is KICKIN'.

I have to admit it, but I'm particularly embarrassed about my crush on you. You won me over with your adorable and solid performance in Hairspray. You're hot, you can sing, and you've got great abs. Also, I like that you sometimes roll around in the mud with naked girls. I hope Vanessa isn't jealous.

Oh, Shia. Don't worry. I don't love you just because of Even Stevens. I've actually never seen that show. In fact, I didn't discover you until your amazing performance in A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints, and then, I confess, I youtube-stalked you for weeks. You're totally the best actor under 25 out there right now. And, I totally approve of your new girlfriend, Carey Mulligan. She's about the only starlet I could imagine actually being both smart AND beautiful enough for you...

Shout-out in the comments some of the dudes you're slightly inappropriately crushing on, so I know I am not alone.

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

School's Out For...Ever?

I remember the first day of school always being a big deal, all the way through grad school.

Stocking up on school supplies, putting book covers on my text books, making my lunches, and deciding what the perfect this-looks-like-I-just-pulled-it-out-of-the-closet-but-I've-been-planning-this-outfit-for-weeks ensemble would be.

I distinctly remember a green bodysuit and plaid skirt in my middle school past.

Yes, there were crotch snaps. But, MAN, I felt trendy.

I remember feeling a particular kind of panic when I graduated from college.

I specifically remember writing something along the lines of, "school is what I've been doing for 16 years, and I'm REALLY good at it. What am I going to do now?"

I didn't feel the same kind of panic when I graduated from grad school. Mostly, I was overwhelmed and relieved and exhausted and ready for a vacation.

I have to admit, though, that I'm feeling the familiar yearning to head back to the classroom, more than two weeks since returning to Boston from my summer job.

Mostly, it's just hard to fill the days. I'm happy if I get a little exercise in, maybe see a friend, or make a good meal. Otherwise, I spend a LOT of time combing the internet for job listings and sending resumes...and watching a lot of Netflix, as you all know.

I'm finding myself drawn to more than just teaching jobs. I'm applying to ALL KINDS of jobs connected to schools and colleges. Even administrative stuff that I can do with my eyes closed. I find myself thinking, yeah, I guess I could do that full-time.

Someone, just give me copies to make and emails to send and messages to take. I CAN DO THAT! Just keep me connected to SCHOOL!

Maybe I'll take myself back-to-school shopping, just for fun.

This time, no crotch snaps.

Sunday, August 22, 2010

I am So Happy to Post This

It made me downright giggly.

Warning: NSFW...but definitely listen.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

I am a Pop Culture Genius, vol. XIII: the Dexter edition

After jumping on the Weeds bandwagon, Netflix was recommending Dexter as something I might like.

I'd seen one episode a couple years ago and didn't really know what to make of it, but somehow, I've just watched the whole first season, and there were definitely some...disgusting and shocking moments.

Plus, Michael C. Hall wears the hell out of those thermals.

Also, I recognized ALL these people:

This guy was almost unrecognizable and certainly not as hot as he is on True Blood, but he played a serial drunk driver that Dexter gets rid of.

Drue Valentine himself had a brief cameo as a victim's husband in one episode.

He played a cruel therapist in an episode, but I will always think of him as the villain from Ghost.

I bet there's a whole slew of people that know Jacob from LOST as Rita's abusive ex-husband.

And THEO! played Rita's lawyer in two episodes.

I wish I could put this down as a special skill on my resume...

Monday, August 16, 2010

Word of the Day, vol. XXI

Word of the Day: DRUGS

It’s funny how my final word of the day is drugs.

Especially because I didn’t have any idea what to write about aside from the really horrible story of this one time I got really paranoid and was sure the water I tried to drink was actually cranberry juice and then was super sick with food poisoning from Indian food I’d eaten earlier that day and spent the night with my head literally in the toilet and humming to calm my stomach and, then, thought I’d gone crazy and was never going to be sane again.

Yeah, it’s a good story but that was a bad night.

Then, I started getting into Weeds.

I’ve caught up just in time for the sixth season to start tonight.

Too bad I don’t have Showtime.

I am obsessed with this show.

Nancy Botwin is so tough and vulnerable and a mess.

And her sons are total messes.

And Mary-Louise Parker needs to win more awards. And so does Elizabeth Perkins. And Hunter Parrish is super hot. And I don’t understand how Justin Kirk has ridiculous chemistry with every single woman on that show. Cuz he seems kind of gay too.

And I don’t understand how the creator, Jenji Kohan, can write all those men so well, everyone from a 14-year-old who loses his virginity to an Asian prostitute endorsed by his uncle to the Mexican drug lord and all the guys in his posse.

And what kind of name is Jenji?

It’s a pretty amazing show.

And I think it’s warping my reality.

I went to McDonald’s tonight and was making wisecracks that sounded like they should be on the show. And it struck me that I was imagining that all the black guys in the place were savvy dealers, at the whim of a suburban housewife who is smarter and tougher than all of them.

It’s also about drugs.


Nancy goes from being a widow dealing marijuana to make some cash to falling into drug/gun/sex trafficking in Mexico. And is trying to raise her sons and deal with a complicated love life at the same time.

But, mostly, it’s making me want to start wearing gold jewelry like Nancy’s.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

This Cracks Me Up

me: guess what i bought today

C: shoes

me: no

C: Barrettes

me: LOL--warmer

C: a yamulka

me: COLD

C: a kufi

me: what the hell is that?

C: an african yamulka


C: a Latrell Sprewell Jersey

me: what?!

C: a silicone bread pan

me: cold

C: a dartboard

me: cold
the hats were warmer

C: a 6 month subscription to "Outdoor" Magazine


C: this is tough
I got it

me: COLD
this is hilarious

C: 3 ace bandages

me: cold

C: a handball

me: cold

C: A Sondheim songbook

me: cold

C: edible finger paint

me: yum
isn't that just pudding?

C: a pocket size periodic table of elements
it's fingerpaint


C: that's not dangerous to eat

me: i'll give you a hint

C: ok
but I don't think I need it
I feel close

me: ok

C: a bonnet

me: warmer but cold

C: a cowl

me: cold
but about as warm as a bonnet

C: earth, wind, and fire's greatest hits

me: COLD

C: brass knuckles

me: i wish

C: frozen cod

me: hahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

C: the url anniekee.edu


C: pliers

me: no

C: A bible

me: no

C: a painting of Chewbacca on a giant squirrel killing Nazis

me: YES!

C: http://www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://s-ak.buzzfed.com/static/imagebuzz/web02/2010/7/27/17/chewbacca-on-a-giant-squirrel-fighting-nazis-1866-1280266282-39.jpg&imgrefurl=http://www.buzzfeed.com/rebeccae/chewbacca-on-a-giant-squirrel-fighting-nazis&usg=__9-frFSrR5FbKVLtdyE38aNRrp7c=&h=776&w=600&sz=335&hl=en&start=0&sig2=8GiiPk7j9Pm1FNk9unljXw&tbnid=dR0_VNtC4zlzMM:&tbnh=160&tbnw=143&ei=VP1iTPnKOoGBlAeymZyeCQ&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dchewbaca%2Bon%2Ba%2Bgiant%2Bsquirrel%2Bkilling%2Bnazis%26hl%3Den%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D937%26gbv%3D2%26tbs%3Disch:1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=149&vpy=117&dur=373&hovh=185&hovw=143&tx=134&ty=101&oei=VP1iTPnKOoGBlAeymZyeCQ&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=34&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0

me: you guessed it!!!!!
what the fuck

C: I knew I'd get there


C: dude
you didn't even give me a chance
I was so close

that was a good game

C: I was gonna' go
ice cream
knee pads
electric toothbrush

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Summer Job, 2nd edition, vol. XV (Finally)

Last year, I wrote this about my summer experience. Summer Job 2009 was an incredibly intense and, in retrospect, difficult summer.

At the end of orientation week, there is always a staff talent show. During that day, this year, several people came up to me to ask what I’d be presenting. They seemed to fondly remember that I had done a reading last year, and when I told them I’d be reading something again, I got excited and pleased responses across the board.

I couldn’t believe it.

This genuine outpouring of interest and admiration seemed to set the foundation for the summer, and I don’t quite know where to start expressing how personally significant it was for me.

My new roommate, Naheil, who I also worked with this summer, told me about how she and her co-RA shared a bottle of champagne on the final night and toasted to every realization they had made in seven short weeks.

So, in honor of her and all of my incredible colleagues without whom I could not have survived the summer, here are some of mine.

I realized that being a mentor to young adults satisfies me and seems to align with ALL of my skills.

I realized that I didn’t miss teaching.

I realized that there ARE kind and beautiful young men in the world. (Sometimes they're just TOO young.)

I realized that receiving the love and admiration of my peers is just as important as giving it.

I realized that I will miss hammock time most of all.

I realized that being more comfortable with the schedule of the program meant I spent a lot more money at Starbucks instead of eating in the dining hall.

I realized that leading fifty students to Washington, DC and back is probably one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.

I realized that exhaustion at the program is unlike any other kind of exhaustion I’ve ever felt because you have no choice but to work through it, and everyone around you is just as exhausted.

I realized that having a director that is younger than me doesn’t matter, especially when she’s probably the hardest working person I’ve ever met. And that building a friendship with her was one of the most gratifying parts of the summer.

I realized that working in an office with such a strong and variously skilled team is probably unlike any experience I’ll ever have again, unless I go back next year, and even then, there are no guarantees.

I realized that the Kelly Clarkson channel on Pandora is the best work music ever.

I realized that there is no way to explain how amazing it was to have a flexible schedule that allowed me to sleep in at least once a week.

I realized that one should never bring scissors in your backpack to the Capitol.

I realized that there are few things more satisfying and silly than watching The Bachelorette with girlfriends. On a projector. Or deciding to skip dinner to have spicy Thai food and drinks with a partner in crime. Or singing really loudly and obnoxiously with your office mate with your directors screaming at you from across the hall.

I realized that I’m terrible at water balloon volleyball, but I’m a kick-ass cheerleader.

I realized that snacking on Starbursts CAN get you through a long night on-duty.

I realized, again, that young people need to be spoken to like human beings for them to hear you.

I realized that sleeping on a Twin XL bed is just as uncomfortable as it was last year.

I realized that that rain jacket was the best investment I’ve made in a long time.

I realized that everyone thought I was 24, at the MOST. And that I went through the summer feeling like a grown-ass woman.

I realized that I didn’t expect to LEARN so much. But I did. And, yet, there is still so much more for me to learn.

I realized that doing good work can be its own reward, but getting praised and being told the program wants me back is invaluable.

I realized that going to a job interview straight from this experience proves how confident and experienced I have become.

I realized that Boston is home.


Honestly, I could write all night, but I won’t.

Mostly, I hope I can hold onto all this goodness, all this confidence and contentment I feel.

I’m so grateful for it.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Summer Job, 2nd edition, vol. XIV (Movin' Out)

My bags are packed. I'm ready to go.
I'm standing here...

Just kidding.

But, really. My bags are packed. (Someone should write a scientific equation that involves < and > signs about the difference in time it takes to pack FOR a trip than FROM a trip.)

This week was definitely the most intense of the summer in terms of work.

Not only were we organizing final projects and final evaluations and closing out all our books and making sure everything was copied and in order, but we had to move out of our offices.

Friday alone involved morning observations, afternoon meetings, running Drama Cafe until dinner, working at the Main Event and roaming until 11 and then roaming part of the overnight shift until 1 AM.

Saturday was spent doing data entry until noon and then packing and organizing about 100 boxes of course supplies until 3:30.

Then, last night, I spent three hours eating and NOT drinking at the staff dinner and four hours DRINKING (straight from a Prosecco bottle because I'm classy like that) and dancing at the after party.

Then I ran to a 24-hour store for popcorn and candy and Vitamin Water and passed out around 2:30 AM. Woke up every hour from 6:30 til 9:30, then got up because I figured I was probably missing something important.

I'm heading out to brunch soon with two of my colleagues. Checking out first, which freaks me out. Then, waiting around to watch everyone leave until around 2 PM when I'll catch my own ride.

Home by 5 PM, if all goes well.

And totally in denial about it all.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Summer Job, 2nd edition, vol. XIII (Workin')

Sorry it's been so long since I posted. The weeks pass so quickly here and, mostly, I've just been working.

Second week of second session is probably the quietest week of the summer here. We've already been through the second week once and everyone is on top of their stuff.

I had a couple mini-dramas, but they aren't worth mentioning because now they've passed. Yesterday, I went on my final day trip, to see In the Heights with about 75 very tame students. The trip passed without any fanfare whatsoever, beyond two students being discovered out of bounds by a staff member who had the day off and just happened to be in Times Square. (Sucks for them.)

What's weirding me out is that in a week, I'll be home. Scrubbing the eye crusties out of my eyes and probably nursing a hangover, the morning after the final party, which is sure to be insane.

I'll be sitting on my huge suitcases so they can be zipped up and struggling with them all the way back to Boston.

This week will bring me my final feedback meetings, lots of close-out activities and evaluations, packing up the offices, and producing the final projects.

I know it's going to go VERY fast and then, somehow, I'll be back in my own bed, killing time on the internet, trying to find a job and a roommate, and, hopefully, not totally freaking out at the fact that I am officially unemployed...