So, my mom is frantically and rapidly treating everyone on Facebook to ancient photos.
No, seriously, she has pictures up online from when SHE was a baby, and lord knows that was a LOOOOOOOOONG time ago. (Just kidding, Mom.)
Mercifully, she has not tagged me in some of the most offensive ones, and so, in the spirit of internet humiliation, I have decided to post them here.
I'm taking some inspiration from Una at Sassy, who has such a phenomenal sense of humor about her past physical incarnations. I'd post straight to her most embarrassing photo ever, but it just doesn't seem right. Check out her blog though.
So. Let's begin at the beginning.
Everyone together now, "Awwwwwwwww!"
This is a very famous photo of me, taken on my 2nd birthday, as the crowd was singing. I obviously loved the attention.
A year later, we come to this photo.
The beginning of an illustrious and decades-long academic career
Fast forward a bit...to a less fortunate photo.
Click to enlarge and let's count the photographic offenses, shall we?
1. The crooked bangs, thanks to a mother's loving hand.
2. The garish pink bow that matches
3. The garish and floofy and SPARKLY pink dress. Oh yes, I wore that. Proudly.
4. The neon green friendship bracelet. (OK, in my defense, it was 1989, so this was a fashion staple.)
5. The plastic pearls.
6. That mouth.
I actually remember insisting on dressing this way that day, for my first grade school photo. I also vaguely remember getting seriously strange looks. I bet they were just jealous of my fierce outfit.
I hope you understand, dear readers, how significant it is that I'm sharing this embarrassing photo with you. Remember, I am a single girl. This could be used against me one day when my potential future husband is all, "Ooh, I should check out Annie's blog. She seems like a cool girl...Wait, what?! That was her at 6? Maybe I should stop considering having kids with her; they'll have such mortifying awkward phases. With the stringy hair and crooked teeth...On second thought, she does have a nice rack..."
Let's end on a high note, shall we?
I love this photo, but I'm also slightly confused by my bedroom eyes. I was, like, 10.
Another old family favorite, thanks to my photographer uncle, who snapped this at a large family gathering in upstate New York one summer. And, for the record, I am dressed completely in my cousin's clothes. I'd also like to point out the presence of yet another friendship bracelet. Oh, the 90s.
If you're lucky, I'll chronicle the awkward pre-teen to teen years, otherwise known as The Fat Years someday soon, but I figured this was enough self-inflicted humiliation for one night.
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